Episode Report Card Demian: A | 1 USERS: A+ YOU GRADE IT Stars shining bright above you
By Demian | Season 1 | Episode 5 | Aired on 11.03.1998
The Loneliest Precinct House In The World. Andy and Darryl chat about Skye's mysterious death, and it's completely pointless because the audience already knows who killed her and how he did it.
[72virg=ins]. A flustered Piper emerges from the kitchen to deliver lunch to a guy who's apparently both a regular who quietly whiles away his lunch hour by scribbling on documents from his office and a bit of a picky eater who orders the same dish prepared the same way every day. Piper barely manages to mask her aggravation with this gentleman, and for the life of me, I can't figure out what her damn problem is. You live for customers like this guy, because their routine is so easily mastered and incorporated into your own with so little actual effort, you can give the appearance of providing artful, individually-tailored service while not providing much of anything at all and good God, why am I talking about this so much? I haven't waited tables in twelve years. Please don't tell me it's an omen, because service industry jobs suck to the point where I'd rather be flung from the observation deck of a Deco skyscraper by a cripple in a wheelchair than have to put up with squalling suburban families at Sunday brunch ever. Again. Tangent. Sorry. Veering back now. Phoebe enters, and Piper grits that Skye has yet to appear for her shift, so [72virg=ins] is short-handed for the lunch rush. Phoebe hoots and jiggles into the kitchen with Piper to lend a hand, all the while whispering about this totally boss spell she found in the Book of Shadows. The gals can use it to find the perfect man, you see. Piper predictably yowls about the dangers of personal gain, and Phoebe predictably counters that it's not really personal gain because she says it isn't. Piper remains unconvinced, and furthermore thinks "it's a little desperate" of them to rely on magic to land men. Phoebe finds it "empowering," because they'll be "asking for what [they] want." I'd find it "empowering" to be able to reach into TV Land and gouge out the eyes of any character who unironically employs the word "empowering" to describe anything. Phoebe finally sells Piper on the whole idea when she reveals that the Book of Shadows indicates the spell can be reversed at any time with no repercussions.
Manor, that evening. Piper's in the kitchen dicing some herbs when Prue comes roaring in from the dining room. Piper stammers that she thought Prue had a date with Andy as Phoebe yodels from the hall that the spell calls for cayenne pepper rather than the black variety. Phoebe stops short in fear when she barrels through the door to find Prue tapping her nails on the kitchen counter. Piper babbles out an explanation for their intended actions, nattering about how every spell is in the Book for a reason, and this particular spell provides a perfect opportunity for the gals to test their powers because, after all, why would the Book specifically state that the spell can be reversed at any time if they weren't meant to use it and she really needs to get laid so could Prue just please please please back off and let them cast it? Huh? Phoebe stares at Piper for a moment, then turns to Prue to deadpan, "I can translate." The screen wipes with appropriate swooshing sound effects to land on Prue, sitting at the kitchen table, bitching, "You have got to be kidding." Heh. Cheap, yes, but heh nevertheless. Piper reveals that they were hoping Prue would join them. Prue begs off, as she has enough complications in her life that can be pinned on the Y-chromosome, thank you very much. Phoebe and Piper dart off to the attic as Prue snorts, "Be careful what you wish for!"