Episode Report Card Demian: A | 1 USERS: A+ YOU GRADE IT Stars shining bright above you
By Demian | Season 1 | Episode 5 | Aired on 11.03.1998
Manor, that evening. Phoebe laces up some vicious-looking pumps as she and Piper chatter about their impending dates. Piper did decide to take Jack up on his offer after he "talked [her] ear off and had [her] laughing at all of his jokes the entire lunch hour." Phoebe and Hans, meanwhile, are heading to a nightclub called "Rave" so all of Hans's escort friends can make bitchy comments behind his back about the fish he's got strapped to his arm. "This has worked out so great, hasn't it?" Phoebe grins as she crosses to the door. Piper gives a halfhearted "yeah" by way of response, then dejectedly mumbles "great" to herself after Phoebe has drifted out the door. Poor Piper. Sure, Jack's a nice guy, but there's something wrong with him, right, honey? Let's see. What could it be? Oh, yeah -- he's not dead. Sigh. A good corpse is hard to find.
Imposing glass-walled edifice. I'm sorry. Did I say "imposing"? I meant "ugly." "So, this is a dream lab?" Darryl snarks as he and Andy stride through a reception area with a researcher in a lab coat. "You actually pay people to sleep?" Darryl, I realize you've been slotted into a well-established role here, but even Scully would agree on the value of sleep research. The gent in the white coat leaves the two alone to fetch a "Mr. Berman," who evidently dated the first of the mysteriously-slaughtered victims, one Julie Derickson. Andy gives Darryl the bullet on the office building; "it's a privately-funded research facility," and both Berman and Derickson "were working on some sort of experimental project." Just then, Sugar motors on over in his wheelchair. He's wearing a white mock turtleneck and is filmed from a low angle that together make him look like a crazed dentist. Or Cecil B. Demented. Oh, and his real name is "Whitaker Berman," but I'll be sticking to Sugar for the remainder of the recap. And good goddamn, but he's a crappy actor. I believe he's aiming for "quietly insane," but he's ending up somewhere between "bong monkey" and "comatose." I suppose he could be going for "the steel plate in my head is picking up AM signals from Honduras, and it really is quite difficult to concentrate on the questions you fine gentlemen are asking me while some disk jockey in Tegucigalpa recites the farm report in Spanish," but I don't think this guy's intelligent enough to come up with that particular choice on his own. Andy and Darryl make with the interrogation, and it's dull because Sugar The Comatose Bong Monkey has the perfect alibi -- he was conducting experiments on himself on the night in question right there in the lab, in the presence of several assistants who can confirm his story. Darryl and Andy thank him for his time and leave.