Episode Report Card Al Lowe: A | Grade It Now! YOU GRADE IT Yo, NBC Saps!
By Al Lowe | Season 1 | Episode 4 | Aired on 03.23.2010
Julia says no, she's asking because if Jabbar is Crosby's, it means Crosby has a lot of obligations to fulfill, legal and financial ones. Instead of answering, he deflects. "You were really great back there in the ER," he says. Julia: "Cros, this could be a big deal." He further shines her on. "I'm not kidding," he says. "You're an amazing mom. Like 100 percent." Julia smiles a sweet smile. "Thanks," she says. "Thanks for calling. I would have thought you'd call Adam or Sarah, first." Crosby: "Those deadbeats? Come on."They hit the poignancy song button and we see Adam looking in on a sleeping Max while Kristina talks to Haddie in her room. When her own dad found out she was dating, Kristina says, he hit the roof. She was 16, she says, and going out with a boy named Trevor. "He wore a puka shell necklace," she says, wistfully, "and he was really tan, and..." Love it. "Okay," Haddie interrupts, embarrassed. "But did your dad nail your window shut." In a split second, Monica Potter and Sarah Ramos tell a complicated story. "Honey," Kristina says with the most subtle catch in her voice, "my dad was nothing like your dad. Trust me." Haddie recognizes, for just a moment, that her mom has a life story that began before she became a mom. Kristina goes on. "The point is," she says, "when it comes to dads and their daughters dating, it's primordial. That lizard part of their brains kick in, and..." Haddie interrupts again. "So, you're saying dad can't help himself?" she snarks. Kristina: "Yes. Just like you can't." She says Adam will probably come around about Steve, eventually, if he's as awesome as Haddie says. Haddie: "He is." They both smile. Kristina makes her promise not to sneak around anymore, and she does. "How mad is dad?" Haddie asks. Kristina: "You know, honey, I think he's more scared than anything." Haddie: "Of what?" Kristina: "Losing you." The camera pans out the door and we see that Adam has been standing in the hall, listening this whole time, with a look of such love and fear on his face... if you're not crying, I feel sorry for you.
Thank goodness there are commercials between that and the following scene. Not that anyone has forgotten about Drew masturbating all the time, right? Oh, wait, you had forgotten? Yeah. Me, too. And here he is, in the shower, presumably at it again. Only this time he's not getting away with it that easy. Zeek makes his move. "Kiddo," he says, barging in and yelling at Drew through the curtain. "We need to talk about some water conservation." Drew, naturally, is mortified. "Your uncles had the same problem," Zeek expounds, making himself comfortable on the toilet. "Adam was the worst. I almost called Guinness." Despite Drew's protests, Zeek continues. "When it comes to testosterone," he says, proudly, "the Braverman men are blessed with an abundance of riches, son." Drew: "Grandpa!" Zeek says he should feel pride at the strength of the Braverman libido. "Especially a Braverman needs to learn to control these gifts," Zeek goes on. "Hell, I remember what it was like! I was on R&R in Bangkok..." Heee. Drew stands under the water and prays for death.
Jasmine has arrived to pick up Jabbar, who is still sleeping off his drama from the night before. "What happened to his thumb?" Jasmine whispers when she sees the bandage. Crosby: "It was uh, a fishing accident!" Why would he lie about that? Weird and unnecessary. Why would a fishing accident be more acceptable than a thumb-can ordeal which many children probably get themselves into daily? Looking at his sleeping son, Crosby smiles.
Back at Adam's, Kristina is making the salad for the big family dinner when Adam comes in, putting the moves on her. "Still your favorite man in the world?" he asks, and she says yes, but shoos him away to finish the salad. "Really?" he asks, squeezing her. "Because I'm still feeling kind of sad..." Laughing, he asks if there has been any news on the YoYo front. In response, Kristina takes him over to the living room door where they look in on Haddie quietly playing a game with Max. They smile with pride.
Drew is playing basketball at Braverman HQ when Adam arrives for dinner. "Don't worry," he tells his nephew. "I'm not going to say anything about... anything." The rest of the uncles show up and a full-on game commences. Meanwhile, Zeek mans the grill, ribbing Sarah about how he was right all along about talking to Drew, lighter fluid in hand. Family tradition. "Hey, Sydney, watch this!" he calls, and while huge fireballs fill the sky, Sydney yells for him to do it again and runs toward the grill. "Oh, Sydney, stop!" Julia calls in a panic, but can't get to her in time. Quickly, Sarah jumps into the girl's path and swoops her up. Julia is relieved and smiles at Sarah, wordlessly thanking her for being so responsible. Sarah gets it, and in response, sticks out her tongue. Some sisterly face-pulling is exchanged, much to the confusion of the onlooking Amber. Kristina, chilling with Julia, sees Haddie coming up the walk with none other than YoYo. He is, of course, a perfectly respectable-looking high school hipster. Everybody holds their breath. Haddie holds the boy's hand. Adam makes his way over. "Daddy," Haddie says. "This is Steve." The boy offers his free hand to shake and Adam takes it, firmly, asking "wwwasssuup?" Beautiful.