Episode Report Card Cate: F | Grade It Now! YOU GRADE IT High Anxiety
By Cate | Season 7 | Episode 17 | Aired on 02.23.2003
Roxanne is upset because there's "something going on" with her father. She passive-aggressively pretends that she doesn't need the T-1000 to come down to the station with her. This accomplishes her mission of getting him to volunteer. All us women are real crafty that way. Did you know that?
Ruthie enters The Treehouse of Terror to inform Ben that Kevin sent her up to kick him out of the apartment. That's not true at all, but whatever. She tries to bribe him to come down to the Promenade with her by promising him burgers. He's understandably suspicious, but the promise of burgers is far too enticing to pass up, even if it means he'll have to eat them in Ruthie's company. If I were Ben (shudder), I'd just tally up the cost of lunch and see if I could get Ruthie to fork over the cash instead.
I really do have to warn you that the next couple of paragraphs are going to get pretty disturbing. They involve the twins and Asslee, and contain graphic examples of just how low the human psyche can descend when talentless hacks are given access to scriptwriting software. If you've got a weak stomach, you may want to skip ahead. Ready? Okay. And don't say I didn't warn you. Simon is sitting at the kitchen table, and he and Asslee are staring into each other's eyes. That's all well and stupid, but hardly shocking. The really creepy part is that the twins are in Simon's lap, and they are also staring at Cecilia. They're not quite sure why they're doing it, though, so Thing One asks Simon. His answer? "Because she's beautiful." Oh, the horror! But it gets even worse. Thing Two chimes in with, "Yeah, she's byoooootiful!" Asslee is flattered by this, and not at all creeped out that even the family dog is staring intently at her. Of course, I don't think anyone on the show has ever called her smart.
SuperMom comes in and wants to know what's going on. Thing One helpfully informs her that they're "staring at Cecilia." Thing Two chimes in with another round of, "She's byoooootiful!" Thing One explains, "We like staring at Cecilia." Just for good measure, Thing Two treats us to yet another "she's byoooootiful!" At this point I don't think there's anything left in my stomach to puke up. What kind of effect were the creators of this monstrosity going for? If they're finally trying to end the speculation over whether the twins have diminished mental capacities, this scene hardly seems like a sensitive way to do it. However, if they're trying to convince very young, impressionable girls that having creepy guys staring at you fixedly is not cause for alarm, they've probably succeeded. Why anyone would want to do that, though, really is beyond me.