Episode Report Card Cate: F | Grade It Now! YOU GRADE IT High Anxiety
By Cate | Season 7 | Episode 17 | Aired on 02.23.2003
This week's Opening Credits Timewaster is brought to you by Sue Tenney. It consists of RevCam tossing and turning endlessly in bed, then picking up the alarm clock and panicking. Come on, Sue. That's just sad. I can sympathize with the burnout you're probably feeling, but aren't you even going to try anymore? We viewers make the effort to watch your crappy stories each week, but if you're not going to put in at least a token effort, it's pretty insulting to your audience. Oh, but what was I thinking? It's not like the rest of the episode won't totally insult my intelligence as well.
RevCam rushes down to the CamKitchen, where Annie is putting away some product-placed breakfast cereals. I'm not going to tell you which ones, though, because the advertisers really should be placing their products in better shows. Few scenes demonstrate the general crappiness of the show better than this one, wherein Eric berates Annie for not waking him up earlier. It's not that he has something important to do. No, he just wants to "practice waking up." What a dildo. Annie suggests that he talk to his good friend Reverend Morgan Hamilton, who's been vacationing on The Isle of Forgotten Guest Stars for the past few years. Annie expositions that Morgan's wife, Patricia, will be coming over to help her finish The Unfinished Garage Treehouse of Terror today. That's real nice, SuperMom. You don't talk to someone for over two years, and then the first time you contact her, you ask for a big favor like that? I'd tell you where to go, but that's just me. It's hilarious to think that Annie really plans to finish off the Treehouse. You see, Kevin and Lucy will be living there after their marriage. Like that's not a recipe for disaster. Way to cut the apron strings, Lucy. Let's hope Annie adds plumbing to the list of finishing touches. While Kevin was living there alone, it probably wasn't an issue. What does a cyborg need plumbing for anyway? It would be pretty pathetic for Lucy to have to run back into the CamPound every time she needs to take a leak, though. I also wonder if Annie will be installing two single beds in the Treehouse.
Lucy is studying grumpily as the T-1000 tries to kiss her. She whines that she has a test coming up. Kevin first tries to get her to blow off studying; then he lectures her about not studying enough. "What a winner," comments my husband as he walks by. He warns me that he's going to be using the power drill in the kitchen hallway. I, in turn, warn him that I'm going to be playing endless clips of 7th Heaven in the living room. You tell me which sound is more irritating. Lucy complains profusely about everything she has to do, including "planning on how [she and Kevin] are going to live after the wedding," whatever the hell that means. Maybe she's just sad that the happiest day of her life will be over and she'll have to get through each and every day knowing that dismal fact. Numerous forum posters have suggested that Kevin Big Bucks could part with a few of his dollars to fund a wedding planner, and Brenda must have been listening, because now he finally offers. Unfortunately, Lucy is far too stupid to take him up on the offer. Someone needs to tell her that a wedding planner does the boring legwork of contacting vendors so you don't have to. You can still call the shots when it comes to choosing stuff. But Lucy would rather do everything herself. Are we supposed to think that she's being down-to-earth and unpretentious? Because that's really not working for me. A martyr is a martyr, and they're generally really fucking annoying to be around. So is the T-1000, especially while he's lecturing Lucy when she considers taking a break from school. I think she should drop out entirely and devote one hundred percent of her time to being stupid and irksome. If she's doing so well at that just working on it part-time, think about the depths to which she could descend if she gave it her full attention.
Ruthie is talking to an unnamed person on the phone. She hangs up when Kevin walks in to weirdly exposition that, since Annie and Patricia are working on the Treehouse, Ben will have to "find somewhere else to lay around on his day off." Is that the best Sue can come up with for realistic conversations? This is making the story I wrote in grade two about a talking alley cat read like Shakespeare. Hey, maybe I'll pitch it to the WB! With this network, you never know, right? When Ruthie finds out that Ben will be home all day, she says, "This is not good." Knowing what I do about who Ruthie was speaking to on the phone earlier, and why she's worried about Ben being around, I'll have to amend her statement to, "This is not good writing at all. In fact, it's terrible. Just really, really crappy." The phone rings. This time the caller is Roxanne, so Ruthie passes the phone to Kevin. Instead of sticking around to eavesdrop on his conversation, though, she leaves the room. Weird. I hope she's feeling okay.