Episode Report Card Cate: F | Grade It Now! YOU GRADE IT High Anxiety
By Cate | Season 7 | Episode 17 | Aired on 02.23.2003
Hey, speaking of freaky and abnormal, the CamRents have had to concede that their Hamilton counseling hasn't exactly been a rousing success. So, in an effort to make the Hamiltons talk to each other, Eric and Annie are going to lock them up in The Treehouse of Terror for an hour. Right, great idea. Let's hope neither of their guests need to use a bathroom during that time. Maybe Annie left them a bucket in the corner. While the CamRents self-righteously congratulate themselves downstairs, the Hamiltons try to figure out what the hell is going on. My favorite part? I'm not sure. It could be when Morgan stares at the retreating CamRents and asks his wife, "What is wrong with them?" Or maybe it's when Patricia tells her husband, "Don't you dare leave me alone with Eric. If I have to hear any more about communicating and understanding and marriage, I'll scream." It's a difficult choice, really. When it comes to figuring out what to do for an hour, Morgan suggests some adult relations, but because he's not a dumb-ass Camden, he doesn't actually say anything as vile as "adult relations." He just starts making out with his wife, and we're left to infer the rest. At least when they kiss, I can actually believe that they want to get it on, which is generally not my reaction to the love scenes on this show.
Ben is sitting in the CamPound backyard. I think we're supposed to believe that he's lost in deep thought. Right. He asks the CamRents to tell Kevin that he's gone to Florida. Oh, gross! Brenda better not hook him up with Mary off-screen. Actually, this plot is so stupid, I'm just going to pretend it's not even happening. I just hope Ben can find his ticket. The airport is a pretty big place, and Mary could have left that ticket anywhere!
Simon and Asslee are having a really stupid heart-to-heart down on the Promenade. Asslee admits to being embarrassed about being kicked out of the movie. Okay, but shouldn't she be more embarrassed about all the dialogue she has to deliver on this crapfest of a show? With great sadness, Asslee informs Simon that she and he will have to spend less time together. You see, if they're together too much, their crazy hormones will explode and make them have sex. Hey, it makes just as much sense as anything else on this show.
Roxanne is delivering an impassioned speech to Detective Michaels about how much her father means to her and how disappointed she is that the department is forcing Daddy to quit -- despite the fact that she hasn't even talked to her father yet and that nobody has ever told her that's why her father is quitting. She just latched on to the first stupid idea she encountered and ran with it. Detective Michaels tries to stop her. Why? Because she's a great cop? I'm not buying that for a minute. Actually, I think he's merely trying to tell her that she couldn't be further off base about her ridiculous assumptions, but she's just too rude to let him finish. Her self-righteous resignation may be accompanied by music that tries to fool us into thinking this scene is good drama, but quite frankly, I've watched dishrags dry in a more exciting manner.