Episode Report Card Demian: F | 1 USERS: B YOU GRADE IT "Pointless Filler Episode Number 128"
By Demian | Season 6 | Episode 17 | Aired on 03.13.2004
Cut to the reunion, where Freebie makes her "triumphant" entrance. The tasteful bitches of the class of 1994 are appalled. Also, some overaged Goth chick looks like she's going to vomit. Hee. The crowd conveniently parts to allow Freebie a clear path to Todd on the dance floor. She tosses her arms around his neck and shoves her tongue down his throat. Paula shrews her way over, and sweet Jesus but Claire Rankin's got some freaky eyes. They're just too blue and too shiny, and she's looking like one of the original Fembots from The Bionic Woman as a result. Eeek. Paula pries Freebie off her husband and shoves the trashily dressed slut to the parquet. Ramona rushes to Freebie's aid and, to her eternal credit, swings her head around to howl, "And what the hell were you thinking?" at Todd. Paula waves Ramona off and threatens to sue Freebie for something or other, noting that "'Ask Freebie' has deep pockets." "I'd rather be rich than a bitch!" Freebie snarls. Paula instantly flares white and morphs down into a yippy Airedale, which barks and bolts for the exit to the general consternation of the rabble in the ballroom. Ramona wigs. Freebie thinks "that was so cool" and so spins around to address her fellow alumni thusly:
The past is the future,
And the future is the past:
Let's welcome back
The senior class!
She flings her arms in the air, and a shockwave of glowy golden mojo erupts from her body to shudder through the room. For some reason, this changes the music on the DJ's turntable. For some equally annoying reason, it also instantly transforms her former classmates into a mosh-pitting scrum. Teen Todd grabs Freebie's arm to pull her from the dance floor as we head into the commercial break wondering when the hell the WB is going to cancel this stupid fucking show.
Reunion. Mayhem. Some guy has his head up some chick's skirt while she swings from a chandelier. No, I am not kidding with that. Freebie and Todd are playing tonsil hockey while crouched beneath a table. Meanwhile, Ramona's grinding the DJ. Raige orbs in discreetly off to the side, takes one look at the stupidity surrounding her, and phones Piper at the Manor. Piper, by the way, is scarfing down a pint of Cherry Garcia, and the fact that this is by far the most exciting detail of the scene should tell you a lot about bad this episode really is. Raige describes the current situation to Piper as Freebie spots her younger sister from her hiding place beneath the table, and I have no idea why Freebie with her seventeen-year-old mind would ever know who the hell Raige is, but this show is ass, so whatever. Freebie beats a hasty retreat from the reunion hall with Teen Todd in tow. Ramona stops dry-humping the DJ to follow them outside. Raige attempts to chase after them, but gets caught up in all of the idiocy on the dance floor. The nauseated overaged Goth chick from earlier is, incidentally, grooving in a manner I haven't seen since Siouxsie And The Banshee's "Cities In Dust" was getting heavy airplay back in the mid-'80s. Hee.