Episode Report Card Demian: F | 1 USERS: B YOU GRADE IT "Pointless Filler Episode Number 128"
By Demian | Season 6 | Episode 17 | Aired on 03.13.2004
Out in the main hall, Phoebe greets her father with much irritating babytalk and a small hug that Raige quickly breaks apart, the better to send Phoebe to the relative safety of her room until they can figure out what's going on with the flaring and the morphing and such. Phoebe disappears up the stairs while Raige fills the others in on recent events, and she and Piper head nonexistent-atticwards for some Book abuse. Chris, who's joined them from the kitchen by this point, announces his intention to return to the Scabbar Demons. "And leave your awesome grandpa alone?" Piper interjects, not having it. "Grab a sandwich!" she orders. "Grab a beer!" Turning to ascend the stairs, she finishes by muttering, "Get an answer." Daddy Dearest smirks and pulls two illegal Cuban cigars from his jacket pocket. Chris reluctantly accepts one and leads Victor to the sun porch doors for a smoke.
The Prue Halliwell Memorial Bimbo Boudoir Of Paisley Tit Slings And Other Fashion Atrocities, currently occupied by Phoebe. Phoebe babbles something to herself about not being the same person she was ten years ago as she paces the floor. As she passes her dressing table, she catches sight of Freebie's reflection in the vanity's glass. Phoebe spins to face the mirror, only to find the reflection's reverted to that of her older self. "What is happening to me?" she gulps as her cell phone rings. Phoebe answers to find Todd on the line, and I have no idea how the fuck he knew her number, but I don't care, because this show is ass, so whatever. Long story short, the two reminisce for a bit until Paula arrives at her husband's side, snatches the phone from his hand, and spits, "Who is this? Is this Freebie?" Back in Prue Memorial, Phoebe flares and morphs into Freebie, who snarls, "Yeah, and I'm comin' to get you, bitch!" Paula exhales sharply in disgust and storms away from Todd, who appears to be five minutes away from divorcing the harridan's peroxided ass. Meanwhile, back at the ranch, Freebie crosses to her bedroom window and crawls out to scramble down the trellis.
Down on the patio, Big Gay Chris gags on his Cuban. My. That certainly sounds naughty, doesn't it? Victor apologizes, insisting he thought the cigars would help them bond somehow. Big Chris reminds Daddy Dearest that everything's cool between them, so Victor's forced to remind my very pretty yet disappointingly dim husband that while they might be pals in the future, Victor hasn't been there yet, and so is "feeling a little out of synch, here." Daddy Dearest alters tacks, suggesting dinner. Chris agrees, and heads into the Manor proper to change into something a little less grubby. Before doing so, however, he pulls a Frequency and warns Daddy Dearest to kick his cigar habit "to avoid future problems." Victor hastily rids himself of his cigar and thanks Big Chris "for the tip." As I wonder why the fuck Chris can take steps to prevent Victor's presumed future struggle with emphysema and yet cannot take steps to prevent "the event" that has Piper's panties in a wad, Freebie's motorcycle boots appear on the trellis through the sun porch window. She leaps the last few feet to the ground, futzes with her wig, and charges Fun-Bags-first towards the camera.