Episode Report Card Sara M: C- | 1 USERS: A+ YOU GRADE IT Brotherly Misunderstandings
By Sara M | Season 9 | Episode 16 | Aired on 02.20.2005
Simon gets off the phone when Matt enters the living room. I hope that when Matt becomes a real doctor, he is able to find a cure for that bad case of self-righteousness he has as he lectures Simon about being involved in yet another sexual relationship, especially after the whole Georgia fake pregnancy thing. Simon says he's in love with Annie2. Matt tells him that he isn't, as if Matt knows anything about being in love. Simon says he wanted to see Matt this weekend for a birth control prescription for Annie2, so that what happened with Georgia won't happen again. I hope he isn't planning to rely solely on the BC, because on this show, it's more likely that you'll get pregnant if you're taking it than not. Simon explains that Annie2 can't go to the school health clinic because her dad is its head doctor. But is he the only doctor? Because if not, then I don't know why Annie2 can't just go to the doctor there who ISN'T her father. Or she could skip the campus clinic entirely and just go to the local Planned Parenthood and get a prescription there. Or she could see her gynecologist at home, who I'm betting is not her father (although you never know with this show) and get them from him or her. Hell, Simon and Annie2 could drive down to Mexico and get them there without even really having a prescription, if what I read in the Rolling Stone from my hairstylist's waiting area is true. The point is, there are so many ways to get birth control, and all of them are preferable to asking your brother -- who isn't even a real doctor -- to get you some. They'd work a lot better too, as Matt says that even if he wanted to help Simon out -- which he doesn't, because premarital sex is WRONG -- he isn't allowed to write prescriptions. Annoyed at Matt's constant disapproval of his swingin' sex life, Simon says he doesn't want to get married just to have sex, like Matt did. Matt says that he got married because he was in love. Simon laughs at that. Yeah, Simon! It's about time someone on this show actually called the CamKids out on the folly of entering an unhappy marriage just to remain chaste and keep their parents happy!
Matt hates hearing the truth, so he menacingly tells Simon not to forget that he's still Matt's "little" brother. Simon says he's not so little anymore. Matt says Simon can be a big as he wants, but he's still stupid. Simon responds that he's smart enough not to get married just to have sex. The two start fighting on an armchair, and I'm shocked to see something resembling realism on this show. It's quickly destroyed, however, when Kevin, wearing a t-shirt and boxers, enters the scene and orders them to stop fighting. Upon seeing Kevin, Matt and Simon jump up, screaming. The Savannah crying sound effect loop starts up as Matt yells at Kevin for waving his gun around their house. Since Barry Watson's masterful directing did not include a close-up of Kevin holding his actual gun, and Kevin's boxers kind of bag out in the middle, I thought that Matt was telling Kevin to put a more metaphorical gun away. Gross.
Kevin apologizes for exposing his gun, but says he when he heard them fighting downstairs, he thought someone might be breaking in. This is just ridiculous. If I lived in a house with like fifteen other people and a dog and I heard a noise downstairs, I wouldn't think twice, let alone actually get out of bed to check it out. Especially if it was, like it's supposed to be at the CamPound, before midnight, when most people are still walking around downstairs. Kevin leaves to tend to the baby, and Matt and Simon resume their heated discussion about sex and marriage. Simon maintains that he doesn't want to get married young like his brother and sisters did. "I'm happily married," Matt claims as his nose grows and grows. He adds that Lucy is happily married as well. Yeah, to a man who keeps a gun in a house (that isn't his) with young children (two of whom aren't his) without even asking the young children's parents' permission to do so beforehand. Simon doesn't use either of these arguments, however, instead asking Matt if he's heard the news about Mary. Matt nods sadly. Oh, good! We haven't had nice round of Mary-bashing since, like, three episodes ago when we heard that Mary wasn't even good at breastfeeding.