Episode Report Card Sara M: C- | 1 USERS: A+ YOU GRADE IT Brotherly Misunderstandings
By Sara M | Season 9 | Episode 16 | Aired on 02.20.2005
Annie is waiting for RevCam in the kitchen. Surprisingly, she hasn't tried to bake anything in his absence. He runs in and tells her that Simon is indeed having a baby. The only difference between this show and Three's Company is that Three's Company acknowledged the existence of homosexuality. Which means that a twenty-five-year-old show that spoke about homosexuality in rather disparaging terms is actually more progressive than this one.
Post-commercial, RevCam paces the living room nervously. Matt comes in and RevCam says he needs to talk to him about Simon, without Simon there. RevCam asks Matt how long he's known that Simon and his girlfriend are pregnant. Matt just laughs at this, and says he's "certain" Simon's girlfriend isn't pregnant. RevCam snots that maybe Matt is the last person to know, which is just stupid, because this whole house of pregnant cards is based on Simon telling Matt about his pregnant girlfriend. Kevin and Lucy enter the room. RevCam orders them to talk to him, and asks what they know about Simon. Matt says everyone should just stop talking about Simon until Simon is actually there to defend himself. This will be the only time I ever agree with Matt. RevCam says Annie and Ruthie should be there too, as Simon's premarital sex concerns the entire family.
Simon and Ruthie are in the kitchen. Simon asks for the location of all family members. Ruthie provides him with this, saying that the twins are taking an unsupervised bath "while there's still hot water." They will either drown or boil. Or both. Simon says he wants to talk to Ruthie now that they're alone. First, he reveals that he is not a virgin. Ruthie says she totally knew that because it was "pretty obvious." What, was she hiding in Simon's bedroom closet watching him have sex with Georgia like she did to the CamRents? Because otherwise, I don't see how it's obvious. Simon says he wants Ruthie to know that he has now realized that what he did was a mistake, but there is a lot of pressure on guys to have sex, as well as a lot of girls who will give it up. Because it's always the woman's fault, isn't it? Simon says that sex is "easy to get into, and it's very difficult to get out of, once you're there." I don't think Simon is having sex correctly, y'all. ["Oh, come on, Sara. Everyone knows we have teeth Down There. When Simon says it's difficult to get out of, he means it literally. In other news, cram it, BRENDA." -- Sars] He asks Ruthie to promise him that she won't have premarital sex. Ruthie asks Simon what made him suddenly decide that sex is a mistake. Simon starts to say that he realized that the women he's been with are someone's daughters or sisters, and that Ruthie is his sister, but Ruthie interrupts and asks if Simon's girlfriend is pregnant. Before Simon can answer, RevCam, who has apparently been standing there listening to them this whole time, clears his throat and orders them both into the living room.
Simon enters the living room and asks why everyone thinks his girlfriend is pregnant. "I dunno," says Matt, sounding annoyed at the fact that he's still on this show. Ruthie says SamVid told them. Annie and RevCam enter. Annie asks Simon if his girlfriend is actually pregnant. See, this is a good example of a question someone could have asked Simon BEFORE they all started running around assuming things. Simon tells the CamRents that he thought his girlfriend was pregnant "months ago," which shocks everyone in the room because they didn't know about Georgia's fake pregnancy. "I never said a word," Matt tells Simon, all smug because, for the first time in his miserable life, he managed to keep something secret.