Episode Report Card Niki: C | Grade It Now! YOU GRADE IT The Sixty-Minute Miracle
By Niki | Season 3 | Episode 15 | Aired on 03.17.2002
Yay! Commercial break. Time for a pot or two of coffee.
Jake strides into the coffee bar, stopping short and doing a double take. "Kenny?" he asks incredulously, confronting some doofus in a backwards baseball cap who's reading the paper at the counter. Kenny goombahs that the Sumatran coffee is really good. That's nice, Kenny, but what Jake wants to know is, where's Brrreasta? Kenny says she's on break. "Well, how about you?" Jake asks hopelessly. Kenny informs him that his break doesn't start for another fifteen minutes. Wah wah. Jake rolls his long-suffering eyes and heads for his office.
Jake starts rifling through a pile of papers on his desk, but is distracted by -- and this is how my closed captioning describes it -- "smooching." There's a muffled giggle just as Jake throws open the door to his closet. Eli and Brrreasta freeze, mid-dry-hump, and chuckle self-consciously. Jake stares, his disappointment palpable. He's stunned that Eli's the one Brrreasta chose to grope in the closet, and not Jake. Jake recovers quickly, though, and informs her matter-of-factly that she still has to fill out her W-4. Brrreasta slides down off his filing cabinet, saying she'll do it right now, and then hustles out of there. Jake just stares at Eli, watching his life flash before his eyes. Sheepishly, Eli smoothes his pants and mutters, "Guess my break is over." Uh-huh. Pluckety-pluck go those damn guitars.
Cut to two martial-arts videogame guys kicking the crap out of each other. Judy, watching the bloodshed from the couch, clutches her pearls and wheezes that she doesn't know if she likes this game; it's so violent. Jamian snaps with disgust, "It's a fighting game. What do you think it's gonna be?" Judy's mouth hangs open. Sam just goes on playing, staring vacantly at the screen, so Judy tries again, suggesting that they see a movie. Jamian snarks that he's seen everything. Judy lamely suggests that they see the Charlie Chaplin movie playing down the street -- she bets he hasn't seen that. Jamian can't believe what an idiot she is, and informs her that he doesn't like silent movies, since he has an attention span of 2.2 seconds and all. Jamian kicks Sam's ass at the game, and asks if Sam wants to play again. Sam's all over it, but Judy signals over Jamian's head that she'd like to talk to him. They disappear into the bathroom, and Sam thinks it's for a make-out session. Judy quickly puts the kibosh on that, asking whether he thinks it's good for Jamian to be playing so many violent games. As if it's any of her business. Brakes, Judy. You need to put them on. Sam insists, a little shortly, that he knows "when to pry [Jamian] away."