Episode Report Card Chuck: B- | 3 USERS: A+ YOU GRADE IT Song, Song...Ewww
By Chuck | Season 5 | Episode 6 | Aired on 02.09.2002
Out of range of Betty Buckley's mind control, Omar again feels nervous and seeks out Poet, he of the brazen spoken word, for performance advice. Poet recommends drugs. If they're good enough for Olympic athletes, they're good enough for hardened criminals, is what I'm thinking. He gives Omar a tit and, for ordering right now, a free side of mouthing off about McManus and Said's bullshit -- how he's been there before, how Said wants him to be a symbol, "a phoenix rising on the wings of poetry from the ashes of a crack house." Ha. How Said-like. Poet seals the deal with a word of advice: "Remember one thing. Everyone's eyes will be on you." Good Poet, always ready to help out a friend in need. Omar grabs the tit and stumbles out, collapsing in despair on the stairs, as the hoots and hollers of a heckling audience rise in the background.
And now it's time for the variety show. Which is mildly confusing, since this could easily be a surreal dream sequence. Busmalis staggers off stage with a remark about the tough crowd as Omar reaches Betty Buckley, wrapped in a light pink boa that eerily matches her hair, ready at the curtain with a final word of encouragement for her star performer. "I would tell you to imagine that they're all naked," she says, "but I guess you've already seen a lot of them naked." She just broke the wind beneath his wings.
Mukada announces Omar; Betty Buckley parts the curtain and kicks his ass onto the stage. Greeted by a rousing chorus of boos, he stands, a deer in headlights, before sheepishly starting his song. The mike erupts in feedback, but Omar plows ahead. As the camera pans past Betty Buckley and poor Father Mukada, who was tackled by Patricia Field in the green room, where she balanced a Styrofoam hat on the side of his head and pinned a very large and very fey-looking flower to his lapel, the jeering subsides, Said and McManus exchange self-validating glances, Schillinger looks like he smells poop, and Ellie smiles like she just slathered Vaseline on her teeth. Omar finishes his perfectly pedestrian number. Said jumps up, applauding. McManus follows, and soon Omar's enjoying a healthy ovation. Betty Buckley runs over with a hug; Omar looks ecstatic. And not very fucked up.
In the hall, McManus and Ellie banter, thankfully out of anyone else's earshot. She's telling him that she knows he's gloating because he proved her wrong. He denies it, but he's totally gloating. She thinks he's cute for finding "vindication in the prison version of Star Search" (does Tom Fontana find vindication in the prison version of Melrose Place?). He babbles on about one success being worth all the abysmal failures, and it seems like he's grasping at straws to justify his sad existence, but she buys it and gets all flirty and touches his shirt and says lots of cute stuff before leaving him wanting more.