Episode Report Card Jessica: B- | 1 USERS: C YOU GRADE IT Cigarette Burns
By Jessica | Season 5 | Episode 18 | Aired on 04.09.2002
So, Dawson comes back into the theatre, Amy in tow. "How did you get her back?" Pander whispers. "I made out with her," Dawson says. Pander's jaw drops. Over across the theatre, Joey watches Grams snuggle with Clifton Smalls. She smiles. Charlie strolls up at this point, kisses her ass for twenty-five minutes (serious ass-kissing, too, all "you make me want to be a better man" and "I like you very very much" and "I'd vote for you for president" and "you're the most beautiful and perfect girl to whom I've ever had the privilege of speaking") and finally manages to worm his way into sitting next to her again. Joey is so perfect; she's going to turn Charlie from Womanizing Rock Star into Pathetic Boot-Licking Lapdog in less than sixty seconds! Could you do that? (Would you want to?)
Pander walks past Jen toward the back of the theatre. "Oh my God," Jen says as she looks up and catches his eye. Jack's all, huh? "Nothing, I didn't say anything," Jen sputters. "Yes, you did," Jack says. Jen's all, "Shut UP." Jen and Pander? Holy crap.
So, Dawson gets up and introduces the movie to the crowd. It's really quite nauseating. It's all slow-motion shots of all of his friends and former lovers, and slow, slow clapping like it's the Dead People montage at the Oscars or something. Dawson blathers about how the movie is "a labor of love" for everyone involved in the project, and blah blah bliddly blah blah. "It is and it always will be a snapshot of who we are at this particular moment in time," he says. Jen looks over at Clifton Smalls and smiles. Joey grins at Dawson. Audrey and Pacey gaze adoringly at the Beek. "So, brace yourself," the Head says. "Roll it." Gag. Everyone claps and claps and claps as Dawson slowly walks up the aisle and the lights in the theatre dim. The executive producers flash their own names on the movie screen. And we're out.