Episode Report Card Jessica: B- | 1 USERS: C YOU GRADE IT Cigarette Burns
By Jessica | Season 5 | Episode 18 | Aired on 04.09.2002
Film School. Dawson's fiddling with some sort of film something on the ground when a brunette on a cell phone stomps inside, in the middle of a loud break-up on her cell phone. After much name-calling and screaming, she throws the phone down. Dawson sticks his head up. "You okay?" he asks. "Hello? Excuse me? Nosy?" the woman spits. Dawson shrugs that he couldn't help it: she's loud. The woman snaps that she doesn't know why they're even having a conversation and then tells him that she's sorry, but he caught her in the middle of an "ugly break-up." Dawson mildly apologizes. The woman -- let's call her Amy (because we later learn that's her name) -- shares that she can't believe the boy is dumping her instead of the other way around. They eventually start yammering about film school yada yada yada. I really hate it when this show gets all The Nature Of Art And The Movies on my ass, because, hello? It's Dawson's Creek. Somehow the conversation winds around to that one movie that everyone has, the one you love and are totally embarrassed about but can't turn off if you see it on television. Mine, by the way, is Dude, Where's My Car?. Seriously. It's really, really funny. There's this whole bit where Ashton Kutcher and Stifler are dancing around in matching tracksuits to "Bust A Move." It's high-larious. It really is.
Anyway. Amy's is Hardball, the Keanu Reeves movie about a gaggle of loveable inner-city scamps who learn about life through softball. She saw it in the theatre five times. "That explains that, then," Dawson says. "What?" Amy asks. "Why your boyfriend dumped you," Dawson explains. "You're a sentimental drama queen with crappy taste in movies." Whatever, Mr. I Love Steven Spielberg. (Not that Spielberg is crappy -- I don't think so, anyway -- but sentimental? E.T., phone home!) Also, rude much? "What's your name, little man?" Amy asks, God bless her. Dawson tells her. Turns out that she's the film critic for the Boston Weekly, and she's there to review Charlie and the Giant Euphemism.
Speaking of Mr. The Party Is In My Pants, he and Joey share a painfully flirty interlude back at the theatre. Dear God, just do it already. Who knew that the only thing Joey was looking for was a gigantic schlong on a dumb guy? Not that there's anything wrong with that. Blah blah blah, Charlie talks Joey into sitting next to him for the movie, and if she tosses her hair one more time, she just might give herself whiplash. She bats her lashes and purrs that she already saw the movie, and he was "pretty good." Charlie stares at New And Not Improved Joey (Now With 150 Percent More Flirting Action)! He asks what's "going on with her" tonight. She seems kind of slutty. I mean, "different." Joey twitters that she's the same as she ever was, but that it's nice when Charlie's "not trying so hard." Charlie smirks. "Contrary to popular opinion, I may not actually be the devil," he tells her. "Don't get ahead of yourself, Slim," Joey coos. "Slim"? Is Joey running with Al Capone now or something?