Episode Report Card Megyn: B+ | Grade It Now! YOU GRADE IT Return of the Jab-eye
By Megyn | Season 4 | Episode 9 | Aired on 01.06.2001
Sister Pete's interview. She offers her sage wisdom to Ally as they deconstruct the dysfunction that is Beecher and Keller. Ally asks Pete if she's ever been harassed or sexually threatened by an inmate. Sister gulps and swallows a few times around the word "no" before finally choking it out with no credibility at. All.
Laundry room. Ryan and Keller. I enter in a lacy…oh. Hi. So, Ryan and Keller are in the laundry room. Ryan saunters in with a purpose. "What are we going to do about Beecher?" Keller smarms, "Do?" "That fucker's gonna go public about us killing Shemin and Brown." Keller reassures Ryan that it's just Beecher's way of letting Keller know that he still loves him. Ryan: "You know…the two of you are so fucked up, man." Um. Word. Ryan starts to leave in a huff; Keller grabs his arm to stop him and pauses for dramatic, bad-ass impact. "Don't you hurt Beecher, man. You hurt him, I'll hurt you." Ryan looks at him and twitches, "Don't make threats, K-man…might put me in a bad fuckin' mood." You go, Ryan. And grab his arm all you want, you magnificent bastard (tm Djb).
Unit B. Schillinger and his cellmate (who's name I just. Can't. Retain.) discuss the "virtues" of women, and how Ally possesses said "virtue." And I can't help thinking of Sars's latest Tomato Nation entry, where she speaks of this very virtue and how men have no problem demeaning women for it. I'll not climb upon my soapbox, though, because it's Schillinger, and it's HBO -- but y'all should go read it when you get a chance. It's damn good. ["Hey, thanks." -- Sars] Okay, where was I? Oh yes, interview with Schillinger. After establishing that he is, indeed, a white supremacist, he oils that he's no monster. He's a widower, he's a father (not anymore, Vernie) who has lost a son (two, actually), and going to be a grandpa. Does that sound evil? Well, no, but your voice does. Ally asks him about his son Hank being accused of kidnapping Beecher's two children and then killing Beecher's son and how daddy dearest orchestrated the whole crime. She then poses the question of whether Vern finds that to be evil. Vern pauses, tilts his head, then covers the camera so all we see is, well, nothing. We do hear, "Lady, you don't wanna be having opinions about things you don't understand." She shoots, "If I didn't know you were such a fine, upstanding citizen, I'd think that was a threat." Now, didn't he just warn her about having thoughts and opinions? Sheesh! Schillinger gets heckled by a black inmate, fling flah fladda doo whap.
Cut to establishing scene, where we see that Omar White is not only going to Em City, but is the lucky winner of one camera crew following him while he seeks out his new digs. He goes into Hill's pod. Poor Hill. He always gets the weird ones. White introduces Hill to his ignorance right away by asking him if he's "cripple or something?" Then he asks him if he has any drugs. White's gonna go crazy without drugs. Hill doesn't have any drugs. Lights out.