Episode Report Card Lady Lola: B- | Grade It Now! YOU GRADE IT All's Well That Ends Mel
By Lady Lola | Season 5 | Episode 12 | Aired on 01.27.2011
Deep Thoughts by Liz Lemon
Lemon: It doesn't matter how long you've lived in New York. It's still fun to look up and pretend that all the buildings are giant, severed robot penises.
Jack: Be quiet, Lemon.
File Under: What Is Kenneth?
Kenneth: I hope I photograph okay, because when I look in a mirror there's just a white haze.
Keepin' It Real
Jack: Do you know what pays for your show, Lemon?
Lemon: Our product placement deal with Sullivan's Psychiatric Clinic. "Sullivan's Psychiatric -- You'll drool over our crazy prices!"
Jack: Reality TV. A woman with hundruplets, a live execution, The Real Transvestite Hoarders of Orange County Penitentiary.
Lemon: Ugh, that show is upsetting. Why does the warden let Lady Extravaganza have so many spoons?
Survival: All-Schmoes
Pete: We've got a wide skill set for any post-apocalyptic scenario. I'm good at archery and kind of want to die.
Frank: I can use my glasses to start a fire. Toofer can get us through black, gay, and nerd-controlled neighborhoods. Cerie will be some sort of queen in the new society.
German Writer: I will do sex with cannibals as needed!
Kenneth: I can talk to animals... well, not talk to 'em. I can take commands from 'em!
Pete: Huh, Lutz... what can he do?
Frank: Well, he's slow and a coward.
Disaster Options, Take One
Robert DeNiro: I don't know, Jack, this doesn't feel right.
Jack: Bob, it's for charity. And if you don't do it, I'll have MSNBC tell the world that you grew up in England.
Robert DeNiro [in a dreadful English accent]: But I'm so identified with New York, you bloody tossah!
Jack: Bob!
Robert DeNiro: Okay!
Production Assistant: Disaster options, take one.
Robert DeNiro: We'll always remember where we were when we heard that tornado had hit a handgun factory... Two days ago, when people thought of a mudslide, they just thought of getting drunk in an Applebee's, but now we know it as the thing that destroyed Denver... When the birds first started attacking us, we all thought it was pretty funny and made Hitchcock jokes, but we're not laughing now because our laughter excites the birds sexually... This devastating wildfire... This horrible flood... This wonderful flood that put out that devastating wildfire... These super-intelligent sharks...
The Inanity of Insanity
Jack: Lemon, it sounds like you're trying to fight crazy with crazy.