Episode Report Card Miss Alli: B | 1 USERS: A+ YOU GRADE IT Ad nauseam
By Miss Alli | Season 1 | Episode 2 | Aired on 01.14.2004
VersaCorp has a meeting in which they talk project managers. Imagine that, picking your project manager after you have some clue of what the task is. Those crazy boys. Kwame points out that he knows something about advertising, so if it's an advertising thing, he might be a good choice. They ascertain, though, that Jason has actually worked in advertising a little, and when he hears that, Kwame readily rolls over and encourages the group to give the task to Jason. Jason accepts. "I guess I gotta step up to the plate and take charge." I implied it last week, and I'll say it now -- this is, in fact, one of my favorite things about groups of guys, and hanging around with groups of guys. The stereotype that they're a little lower on the drama and emotional bullshit when it comes to making group decisions is not entirely unfounded. There's not as much need to check everyone for adverse feelings before you do anything, there's not as much need to see all developments as personal...it's kind of refreshing. If you've ever ordered pizza using actual official feminist process (oh, yes, there is such a thing), you know what I'm talking about.
More nice Manhattan shots, and then we move to the Deutsch offices. There, the group files in and waits, and before long, Trump arrives. He's wearing a pale-pink tie, which just does not work at all. He badly needs a visit from Queer Eye For The Unhinged Tycoon Guy. Donald introduces the group to Donny Deutsch, whom Donald calls "the best there is." I hate Donny instantly, to the point where I physically recoil in the privacy of my apartment. Everything about him screams "weasel." Donny the Weasel tells the group that they're going to "learn a little bit about advertising." He leads them through the offices, and just as he tells Donald that the place is "really free and open," a guy whizzes by on a scooter. Gee, what a coincidence. I bet they play Nerf basketball in the hallways, too. That whole freewheeling-office thing sure is an interesting brand-new trend here in this year of 1995. Everyone files into a large conference room. Donald starts by delivering a lecture that includes the scintillating tidbit that "advertising is an amazing thing." Ereka, by the way, is wearing a pink-purple-black scarf tied around her head. Not to mention an off-the-shoulder top. It's all very businesslike, providing that your business is fortune-telling and your workplace is a carnival. And Heidi's eyebrows are still far too curvy and thin. Donald says that last week's lemonade task was very "basic," but this week's task is something a little different. It involves corporate jets. Oooooh. They will be developing a campaign for the Marquis Jet Card, which is kind of like a Starbucks card, only instead of being able to cash it in for lattes, you can cash it in for hours of private jet service. The reward for the winning team will be a trip via private jet to Boston tomorrow night. And also, of course, avoidance of the Boardroom and impending firing. Kristi's outfit is off-the-shoulder also, by the way. Necklines with actual neck-sized holes in them are so last season.
Donny (bleh) goes over the Jet Card concept again after Trump is gone. The assignment is to create a thirty-second television commercial, and a magazine ad. They're going to have access to all the creative resources at Deutsch -- including photographers. Remember that one for later. I also want to say at this point that Donny's nipples are extremely distracting in the very tight T-shirt he's wearing. That is not impressive, Donny. You are not hot. Prominent nipples do not make you hot. Just a little note, from me to you. In fact, tape those suckers down if you have to. By the way, as he is talking, Jessie takes notes in a reporter's notebook, so she is still alive as of this moment also. Donny explains that the aim here is "big ideas." He wants them to do it -- you guessed it -- "out of the box." I'm surprised no one ever says, "I want you to think inside the box. Just your average basic good job, that's what I'm looking for." I mean, honestly, there are advantages to the box. How do you think it got to be the box? He also tells them to "swing for the fences." I think it's fair to say the word the women take most seriously from that phrase is "swing." Oh, hey, Amy's top is also off-the-shoulder, at least when she yanks it down, as she has here. I am hopelessly out of touch, which you can tell because I am almost always fully clothed at business meetings. And while we're on fashion, Sam is wearing a blue long-sleeved knit shirt with a very large white collar. It is extremely ugly. It is distractingly ugly. Just saying. If Charlie Brown hadn't had that yellow shirt with the black zigzag, he would have worn the shirt Sam is wearing.