Episode Report Card Miss Alli: B | 1 USERS: A+ YOU GRADE IT Ad nauseam
By Miss Alli | Season 1 | Episode 2 | Aired on 01.14.2004
Back from commercials, we get a black screen with the white words, "Don't Negotiate With Underlings." Dude, that's my philosophy, too. That's why I make sure that when I buy a book from Amazon.com, Jeff Bezos handles the fulfillment side personally. In fact, I demand that he include a personal note. Donald tells us in an interview that he learned early that "you have to deal with the boss." Manhattan shots follow. We see a bunch of people walking, and then a pigeon walking, and it's a very, very funny visual, though you kind of have to see it to appreciate the implication that the people and the pigeons have a lot in common. Although as compared to the candidates, the pigeons do have a little more originality. Clouds fly in time-lapse over a tall building. This show? Porn for architects.
The Protégé Corporation (snerk) takes off to get started on their assignment. By the way, in case I haven't made it clear enough yet, these women dress less professionally than you can really imagine if you didn't see them. In addition to Ereka (off-the-shoulder), Amy (off-the-shoulder), and Kristi (off-the-shoulder), we have Katrina (off-the-shoulder and white pleated kilt), Heidi (startling cleavage), and Jessie (sleeveless, but not bad compared to the others). Only Assorama and Tammy are remotely appropriately dressed in what I would call "business casual," as opposed to "business trampy." In an interview in which Ereka is wearing yet another tube top (earning her the distinction of being the show's official Ms. Tube Top, the official Tube Top spokesperson of 2004), she retells the details of the assignment.
Amy gathers the women in a meeting and puts up an easel. Oh, don't mess with people with an easel. You know they're serious. If they weren't serious, would they have gone to the trouble of obtaining an easel? ["Where does one obtain an easel on short notice, anyway?" -- Sars] Amy says that she's going to go call Marquis Jet and schedule a meeting. She makes the call and explains to the guy that she's working on his advertising. It would be nice to have some concept, by the way, of what he told her. Apparently something like, "We have a sophisticated product, and we cater to a professional clientele. Oh, and also, I really like dicks." Amy interviews that she thinks there's great value in meeting with the clients if you're going to "translate [their] message" in your advertising. She sets up a 12:30 appointment. Amy recommends that two or three people head for the meeting while the rest stay behind and brainstorm. Assorama specifically asks to go, saying that she wants to "provide that research background." I don't know what that means, or what kind of research she intends to do, or why you would send the research person to the business meeting with the clients you've never heard of until this very minute. Amy says that she thinks that Ereka, their New York "local" who doesn't know the difference between east and west on the simplest street grid on earth, should go. And for the sake of "productivity," Assorama should stay. Also for the sake of avoiding "tension." I actually think it's a good idea to break those two up, but this wasn't probably the way to go about it. Assorama interviews that this was an "ineffective" decision on Amy's part, because Amy went with Ereka, leaving the team behind with no timeline and no plan. I tend to agree that Amy probably should have at least appointed a second-in-command when she left, because leaving these women to "brainstorm" and hoping for the best? Yeah, I don't think so. And not just because it seems highly unlikely that any of these women will experience any storms of the brain variety, either.