Episode Report Card Miss Alli: B | 1 USERS: A+ YOU GRADE IT Ad nauseam
By Miss Alli | Season 1 | Episode 2 | Aired on 01.14.2004
Things are not so chipper at VersaCorp. Everyone is arguing right before the presentation. Nick explains in an interview that he is "the Zen master of presentations," so he was trying to give some advice to Kwame, who was planning to do part of the pitch. It seems that the guys' theme is "Marquis Jets: Redefining First Class," which I do think is a damn sight better than "Own It," slogan-wise. The guys file in for their presentation. Bowie is wearing a very nifty silver tie, by the way. Troy and Kwame pull a piece of red velvet and reveal...a photograph of a guy boarding a plane, handing a ticket -- or maybe it's his Marquis Jet card, come to think of it -- to a flight attendant. It is a seriously, seriously boring picture. If you're going to pull a velvet cover off a picture, y'all, it better not be...that. Kwame starts the presentation, and Bill says in an interview that he could tell that Deutsch was impressed with the work they did on the campaign. Oh, and then, we get my least favorite thing in the world. The scourge of the universe. The great agony of mankind. It's...PowerPoint. NOOOOOOO! The presentation starts with a screen saying, "Objective: To inspire motivation and expand consumer awareness through a targeted advertising campaign." Okay, first of all, there is no such damn thing as "inspiring motivation." At all. Second, isn't that the objective of every advertising initiative? See, it says absolutely nothing, and yet it says it in big letters on the wall. That is the curse of PowerPoint, people -- the notion that crap, nonsense, and vapidity sound a lot better if each one of them is a bullet point.
As if that opening screen weren't enough, we then get a pie chart that -- oh, it's so much fun to play with effects menus -- flies onto the screen on a little spiraling path. God, I despise that. At least there's no "wooooop" sound effect. Incidentally, the budget pie chart reveals that the guys had a plan for direct mail also, even though they don't talk about it. They also carved out substantial money for "Outdoor" advertising, and there's no discussion of that, either. Seems like sound thinking, though. Put an ad for private jet service on the top of a passing taxi, and you'll reach all those potential jet service buyers who are sitting on benches on the curb waiting for the bus. Jason interviews in the manner of wrap-up that their campaign "stuck to its guns," and he insists that it was "the right campaign for the client." Not that he met with the client. He's just guessing.
Now, we see part of the guys' TV ad. Oh, Lordy. I don't know whether to laugh or cry. Or punch someone. There's actually a woman doing a voice-over that says, "When my husband's traveling for business? I no longer have to worry. Knowing that he's flying with the Marquis Jet card? It's the only card that allows him access to the NetJet world-class fleet of aircraft." Then there's a shot into the cockpit, and the pilot turns around and says, "The NetJets fleet. It just doesn't get any better than this." And then the pilot actually gives the thumbs-up. That would be a great ad if it were 1963 or so. Oh, and if you and I and everyone watching it were huge dweebs. Are we not a little past the "Hey, fellas, the wife won't fret by the phone!" thing? And...and...the thumbs-up? With no sense of irony? That's not even mentioning the fact that if you're going to have a woman do a voice-over, you should get one who can do it without talking in that annoying every-sentence-is-a-question kind of way. Because people? Who talk like that? Give me hives?