Episode Report Card Sara M: D | Grade It Now! YOU GRADE IT The Rise of Randy
By Sara M | Season 17 | Episode 3 | Aired on 10.09.2008
The other four certainly are talking alliances. Specifically, they're saying that they might as well make an alliance of four, since the other three alienated themselves from the rest of the tribe. Well, that was stupid of them. Crystal, GC and Ken basically told Matty, Susie, Randy and Dan to form the majority alliance and vote them out. Why? And why aren't these people making alliances on day one? These kinds of things are important in this game. Randy says GC argues with him about everything, and Dan and Matty say Crystal is hard to deal with. And Ken is just there. Randy tells them his "GC is cancer" theory, and says that "at the right time" they'll need to cut the cancer out. Except that if he was really cancer, the right time would, of course, be "right now." Unless you don't have health insurance, in which case the right time is "sorry." Matty tells us that he's happy to have an alliance of four, and he "really, truly" feels that they'll be a solid alliance for some time to come.
With that, we go to the reward challenge, where solid alliances are turned on their heads. The tribes arrive and Probst points out that Paloma was voted out in the last Tribal. Ken looks very upset about this. One by one, all the hot girls are being voted out of the game! Once they're all gone, he'll never be this close to a hot girl ever again. Probst says that for today's "challenge," each player will rank his tribe members from top to bottom. They will then take their spots on pedestals according to that rank. Probst hands them tallying sheets and tells them to fill them out privately. We see Randy's tablet, and it looks like he's got Matty at 1, Dan at 2, Ken at 5, GC at 6, and I'm not too sure about the rest. Curse this non-HD TV of mine! I think he gave Crystal the 8th spot, but that could also be a 3. He definitely didn't give himself a top spot, which was probably a strategic move. Or maybe he realizes that Rice Watcher/Shit Talker isn't a crucial position within the tribe.
After a thrilling montage of people filling out surveys, Probst tells us the results. For Kota, from first to last, it's Marcus, Ace, Bob, Charlie, Jacquie, Corinne, Sugar, and Kelly. And for Fang, it's Matty, Dan, Randy (!), Crystal, Ken, GC, and Susie. Good for Fang for not sticking both of their women at the bottom, unlike Kota. Then again, Crystal beat Ken, who plays video games, and GC, who has actually taken naps during challenges. The fact that she's an Olympic athlete and still couldn't beat Randy is shameful. Marcus claims to be "shocked" to be number one on his tribe, but you know he isn't. In fact, that only shocked person is probably Ace, who has probably decided that this is Kelly's fault for putting him at 8 in her survey. Marcus worries that being number one will cause the others to see him as a threat. I think that might have already happened when you eschewed teamwork to get the individual immunity idol and were the best challenge competitor on your team. Also, your majority alliance. Kelly makes her usual sour face as Probst calls her out for being the least valuable member of her tribe. "It's interesting, being the last one. I've never been the last picked ever, so it's kind of different," she says. "Kelly's devastated," Ace claims in an interview, and while Kelly didn't look particularly thrilled, I wouldn't call that devastated. "'Why am I picked last? Why is everybody not kissing my ass?'" Ace continues, assigning Kelly the thoughts that he himself most likely had. "'Cause you're a whiny little ... cow," Ace concludes. He totally meant to say something else that began with the letter C. And it wasn't "classy."