Episode Report Card Sara M: D | Grade It Now! YOU GRADE IT The Rise of Randy
By Sara M | Season 17 | Episode 3 | Aired on 10.09.2008
Probst throws out the next ball. Ace tries to use his arms to paddle to it, but that method sucks and Marcus the Magnificent gets to the ball first. Probst cheers his "nice little pass to himself." Yeah, if anyone on Fang had done that, you know Probst would have made fun of him for not passing to another player. But Probst loves Marcus, almost as much as Charlie does, so now it's a brilliant strategic move. Crystal and Ken yell for Kelly to try to stop Marcus, as she's apparently near him and they're sitting in the goal. Kelly paddles over and tries to get the ball from Marcus but is unsuccessful. "Kelly, not doing much!" Probst cries out with glee. Okay, well, she did try. She didn't steal the ball, but it wasn't like she sat there and watched it go by her, either. Marcus launches the ball into the air and down to Randy, who's sitting in front of Fang's goal with no one near him, because they are either sitting in the other side of goal or going after Marcus. That's not very good defense, Fang. Probst claims there's no one in the Fang goal, which isn't true because Ken and Crystal are both there, but they're on the other side. Randy scores, and Probst says, "Fang could not make that easier." Just for that, Probst, I wish Tom Bergeron won the Emmy over you.
For the third round, Probst throws the ball out, and I see someone on Kota had the bright idea to have Bob push Marcus forward with his paddle to give him some extra speed. Very smart -- I bet it was Bob's idea. Marcus the Magnificent gets to the ball first, and Probst can't help but saying that "once again" Marcus is doing everything right, and Fang sucks and should jump off their rafts and drown themselves, blah blah blah whatever. Ace manages to get the ball away from Marcus, which Probst doesn't have any encouraging things to say to him for. Marcus gets it back, and Probst spots Kelly sitting on her raft doing nothing and feels the need to point it out to everyone. Meanwhile, what's Susie doing? Or Corinne? Or Bob? Or ANYONE besides Marcus and Randy? Marcus throws the ball down the lake. Crystal and Ken are both closer to it than Marcus, but neither of them have control over their rafts like Marcus does, so he gets past Ken and gets the ball. "Ken, virtually useless in this challenge!" Probst cries. Which, while true, is really unfair for the supposedly impartial host/game referee to point out. Ace desperately uses his two-handed paddle to race back to Marcus. "Watch out, Ace is behind you!" Charlie says, so jealous. Marcus throws the ball to Randy, who takes another shot on goal, but misses. Then he just sits there on his raft as Dan paddles forward to get the ball from Matty, who's in front of the goal for Fang. Probst does not say anything about Randy's decision to take a rest here. Dan tries to get the ball away from Matty and manages to launch it towards the goal, but Matty blocks the shot and Dan falls into the water. Probst actually finds it in his heart to congratulate Matty for a "great block," because even though Matty is on Fang, he's a strong, young male and therefore must be praised. So now it's up to Randy again. He paddles up and gets the ball on his paddle. Ace tries to knock the ball out of it but only manages to fall into the water as Randy rather expertly maneuvers the paddle and throws the ball into the goal. With that, Kota wins immunity. Randy and Marcus jump off their rafts into the water to celebrate. "One of the most lop-sided challenges thus far!" Probst cries. Whatever. He hands Kota the idol and somehow manages not to kiss each and every one of their asses, then turns to Fang with pure hatred and disgust in his eyes and says this: "Fang. Without question, one of the worst performances I've seen at a challenge." Okay, yeah, Kota beat them 3-0. But I still wouldn't call it one of the worst performances Probst has ever seen. For example, there's the track meet Probst recently attended, where a javelin thrower lost control of his javelin and it flew into the stands, where it became firmly lodged in Probst's ass, which is the only reason I can think of for his being such an asshole now. Probst then turns back to Kota and congratulates them one more time before sending them back to camp. Marcus flashes a peace symbol at Probst with his palm inwards, which is a swear in some countries. Like England, although I'm sure Ace wouldn't know that, since he is a pretender. Even though Marcus probably isn't doing it on purpose, it's nice to see him flip off Probst. We go to break with slow-motion action shots of Randy, the surprise lacrosse master.