Episode Report Card Jessica: B+ | Grade It Now! YOU GRADE IT Love Bites
By Jessica | Season 6 | Episode 18 | Aired on 04.08.2003
After the commercials, they arrive at the dance, which is decorated as though the theme is "Medieval Times" or something. I hope there's jousting later. Pacey grins at the all the adolescents and tells Joey that he "loves the smell of Secret antiperspirant in the evening." She gives him a dirty look. "It had to be said," he retorts. Is that a reference I'm not catching because I've blocked out so much of the history on this show just to be able to live from day to day, or is that a crack about Secret being the deodorant of choice for teens? Because I wear Secret! It's the only thing that keeps me from smelling. Or was that a very veiled "Smells Like Teen Spirit" reference, mixed in with a little Apocalypse Now in, like, a really horrible mélange of cultural references? Either way, I'm at a loss. Little Harley Flip-Flops turns to them and announces that "this night bites already," and she hasn't even gotten to the part where her friends "gather around her and gush about her dress." Oh, Harley. What is wrong with you? You totally show your girlfriends your dress way before the prom actually happens. Joey decides to take this moment to mention -- apropos of, like, nothing -- that Harley is not the first person to accompany a non-dancer to the prom, and mentions that Pacey is "famously uncooperative when it comes to the booty shake." As is, of course, Brandon Walsh. But no one mentions that! Even though the prom episode of 90210 is so deeply brilliant that none who saw it can erase its images from their mind! Pacey protests that he does, in fact, dance. "Under duress," Joey says, then finds the need to tell Patrick and Harley that Pacey broke up with her at their senior prom and so they never even got to dance at it at all! Pacey is like, okay, consider the dirty laundry aired. "Had to be said," Joey smirks, and instead of rolling his eyes, Pacey gives her a really, really smoldering look. Patrick leans in and smarms that Pacey is clearly "not of sound mind" to hurt the feelings of a babe such as Joey.
It is at this point that all of Harley's friends scamper over to squeal at her dress, and then she and Patrick bicker about something I didn't catch because I really can't be arsed to listen to the two of them, and Joey tells Patrick to go fetch them some punch. Pacey, for his part, informs Harley that she looks very pretty and, offering her his arm, asks her to dance. Aw. They head off, and Joey watches and smiles and refuses to stand up straight. At least her hair looks okay. She turns and looks at Patrick, who has returned from the punch bowl empty-handed. "Oh! Beverages!" he says. "I was wondering why I went over there." With that, he offers her his arm and they walk across the gym. Patrick explains that he's friends with a kid who managed to sneak in a bottle of peach schnapps, so if she wants the night to be "truly magical," he can arrange for "cocktails for two under the bleachers." Joey raises a brow, amused. "Just give me the word," Patrick concludes. "No," Joey tells him, and disengages her arm and walks away. "Think about it, babe," Patrick calls after her. Ah, spiked punch under the bleachers. Those were indeed the days. I can't remember the last time a boy invited me to surreptitiously imbibe on school grounds.