The two girls lure Cryin' away from the main set, teasing and flirting and blah. They amble off with Cryin' as, back at the bachelorette party, Shannon screams, "Let's go find the guys!" Whoo! Cryin', meanwhile, is sitting in the dark with the two strippers, who are all over him and telling him they won't get him in any trouble. But Pete and another guy come over to rescue him, telling us all earnestly, "I don't think Ryan's love for Trista needs to be tested by a girl in a catsuit." Not that there's much competition, but that wins Best Line big-time. Back with the guys, Cryin' proclaims the entire situation "stressful," and he takes off. He wanders drunkenly out of the camera's gaze, turning back to the attending crews and yelling that staple line of put-upon reality-show contestants everywhere, "This is my life!" That's right. So stop looking at me like it's my fault.
Fun turns to boozy turns to strippers turns to, somehow, rain. Wow. God watches The Bachelor. What an emotional tipping point. The ladies come to crash the party and discover that Cryin' is missing. Trista becomes very upset and starts to cry, worrying that she knows he wants and needs her. Trista walks off by herself, still walking slowly enough that the cameras can get a mark on her, into the hotel and into a bathroom, where we can hear her wailing with sadness behind the closed door. Wow. It is pouring down emotionally appropriate rain!
But not where Cryin' in, off wandering in totally dry circumstances, on a tiny island! That really is the smallest low pressure system in the history of The Sadlands. He walks cobblestone streets by himself, stopping to pet a stray dog along with way (awwwwwwwww!) before quickly returning to the bar. And...there he is. Two hours, we learn, he was gone. Concerned glances abound, everyone happy to see him except a seriously wasted Ben, who slurs something about how now "he's our friend again." Ben's famewhoring is impressive because it's so ambitious.
And, finally, reunited (and it feels so good). Knowing as if by instinct where she would be, Ryan walks into the hotel lobby just as Trista exits the bathroom. "Nothing else mattered anymore" at that moment, Ryan tells us, because "she was back." Conventional wisdom shouldn't even BOTHER having to point out that she wasn't the one who left.