Episode Report Card Lady Lola: B | Grade It Now! YOU GRADE IT "I Ate My Father-Pig!"
By Lady Lola | Season 5 | Episode 9 | Aired on 12.02.2010
Tracy Is Nothing If Not Literal
Jack: Tracy, I went to the restaurant last night. That place is a disaster.
Tracy: Damn it, you think I don't know that? I poured more money into that restaurant than my money pit in Connecticut.
Jack: You have a house in Connecticut?
Tracy: No, I do not.
Modern Love 2
Jenna: You want to take this to the next level? Let's video tape our lovemaking, pretend the tape got stolen, and let the whole world see!
'Gina: Wow. I don't know Jenna. I'm pretty beat.
Jenna: I see. Fine. I guess we're just done having any adventure or excitement in our lives.
'Gina: Well, jeez [throws off his wig]. I'm sorry that I'm happy with the way things are. I mean, come on, why can't we just paint each other's toenails, watch vintage pornography, and then go to bed in our swing like a normal couple?
Jenna: Because it's boring. We might as well be married!
'Gina: Okay, this isn't about us being adventurous. This is about you being afraid to settle down with me.
Jenna: That's not true.
'Gina: Fine, let's do this tape. Then what? What will you want next?
Jenna: Well there's a sex resort in Japan where white people are treated like slaves!
'Gina: No, Jenna, you're making it impossible to live up to your expectations.
Jenna: What are you saying?
'Gina: I'm saying, adopting a dog so it can watch us make love, and then returning it, claiming that it bit our imaginary child, is everything that I need.
Lemon Quickly Sours
Lemon: This is what happens when you work at being happy. Godzila sits next to you when you're eating an egg salad sandwich. What a world!
Godzila: What's the point? I moved here to make it on Broadway. Now look at me. I'm pathetic. I've got no real skills, a degree in theater tech. So you move back to Pennsylvania, live with your parents. All of your old friends have kids and careers, and what do you have? Maybe your name on a TV show that no one'll even remember. Shoulda moved to Cleveland with that guy when I had the chance!
Lemon: Damn you, God-zee-ra!
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