Episode Report Card Lady Lola: B | Grade It Now! YOU GRADE IT "I Ate My Father-Pig!"
By Lady Lola | Season 5 | Episode 9 | Aired on 12.02.2010
Bonus! Lemon thinks she has reaped the rewards of working at being happy as she sits on a park bench eating an egg salad sandwich next to Godzila (or the failed actor who briefly played him at Staples). Instead of joining in on her happiness, he basically reiterates each and every one of her worst fears before running off to wreck Tokyo. See below to find out that Lemon's life is -- appropriately, and as we expected all along -- one big joke.
Tracy Jumps on the Bandwagon
Tracy: You remember Donald -- my son who's two years older than me.
Jack: Ah, yes. Please come in. As I recall, you own the Tracy Jordan Institute for Black Karate.
Tracy: You wouldn't believe this, but that business failed. I blame Obama.
Modern Love
'Gina: I have to go to work. My new manager is making us wear name tags. I might as well be working at a roller-skating drag queen restaurant under Taliban rule.
Jenna: But after your shift, we still have our special night, right?
'Gina: You have no idea how special. [They touch tongues and wiggle them around, then Paul leaves]
Jenna: We're celebrating our six-month anniversary, and I think Paul's going to pop the question.
Lemon: Really? That's a little fast, isn't it?
Jenna: And I will say yes when Paul proposes... that we make a sex tape and leak it on the Internet.
Lemon: I thought you meant marriage.
Jenna: Oh God, no! Marriage is like death. You settle into a routine. You lose all the spark.
Lemon: I don't know. I always thought the whole point of being with someone for a long time is to get to the comfortable routine part.
Jenna: No. Relationships are like sharks, Liz. If you're not left with several bite marks after intercourse, then something's wrong.
Lemon: Well nothing's wrong with me and Carol. I mean, we haven't spoken in five days, but that doesn't mean anything. Because we are not sharks. We are legless turtles rotting on the beach.
Jack Goes Coping
Lemon: Have you ever been to a shrink?
Jack: No. I believe that when you have a problem, you talk it over with your priest or your tailor or the mute elevator porter at your men's club, then you take that problem and crush it with your mind vise. But for lesser beings, like curly-haired men and people who need glasses, therapy can help. But Lemon, I want you to get better. Because, and I mean this, I'm tired of talking this much to a woman I'm not having sex with.