Episode Report Card Cindy McLennan: B | 122 USERS: B YOU GRADE IT Ding Dong The Witch Is Dead
By Cindy McLennan | Season 5 | Episode 4 | Aired on 10.24.2013
Caroline and Jesse are hanging out in the cemetery like every other damned fool with a bell and a red Solo cup. The difference is that they're studying bio. They bring up the "Red Queen Theory, which seems fairly pertinent to this season, but I don't feel like listening to it, again, so allow Wikipedia to enlighten you. It boils down to this (in TVD context): weaker species have speed (or something similar) which allows them to survive, even when they "shouldn't." Jesse wonders how Caroline learned everything so quickly. Caroline says when people tell her she can't do something, she proves them wrong. Jesse figures Caroline brought him there to prove Tyler wrong. Caroline says she doesn't even know where Tyler is. She just thinks Jesse is nice and smart and she really wanted to hang today. They kiss, but then it gets a little awkward. Jesse goes back to quizzing her on bio terms and we cut to...
Mossy Manse. The Ghost of Bonnie is standing behind Jeremy, pleading with him not to do "this" but Jeremy can no longer lie and keep this secret. When he says something similar, Damon replies, "I don't speak crazy person, Jer. You're going to have to translate that, for me." Jeremy says, "Think about it, Damon. I was dead. I wasn't supposed to come back." Damon says, "Yes, that is the beauty of Bonnie magic, which is what we need right now." Jeremy tells Damon, "You're not hearing me. Magic finds a balance. I'm not supposed to be here." Damon's head sways. His eyes fill up. "No." Jeremy reminds him there's a price to pay for bring someone back from the dead. Damon says, "Don't you say it, Jeremy. Don't you dare." Jeremy persists. "She didn't show up to her dad's funeral, Damon. Nobody has spoken to her all summer." Bonnie begs, "Please, Jeremy." Damon says, "You say it and everything in Elena's life goes to crap. Do you understand me? Everything changes." Bonnie raises her voice. "Do not say it, Jeremy." Damon whispers, "Don't." Too bad these two are on different planes of existence, because this is perhaps the most they've ever agreed.
Jeremy blinks and swallows hard. "Bonnie's dead." Damon's face screws up. His voice is tight and comes out in a near-hiss. "Damn it, Jeremy. You realize what you just did?" He starts to pace the room. "Why would you say that?" Jeremy: "I'm sorry, people need to know." Damon turns to face Jeremy and approaches him with such purpose, I think he's going to break the kid's neck, but instead, he grabs him in a fierce hug, sighs and strokes Jeremy's hair. Let's pause here and give a standing O to Steven and Ian. That was some heavy lifting. We cut to...