Episode Report Card Gustave: B- | Grade It Now! YOU GRADE IT No Blondes For Oil!
By Gustave | Season 2 | Episode 17 | Aired on 03.31.2003
As Kiefer drives the Kiefmobile towards the appointed meeting place, Cate asks him why he can't just get his friends at CTU to help him. Kiefer explains that Soul Patch is now in charge; he's under a lot of pressure and therefore isn't open to dissent. Kiefer checks his rearview mirror and notices that they are being followed. They turn into an alley, and the other car is still behind them. Kiefer jumps out and pulls a gun on the driver. It's PoorMan'sArmandAssante. PMAA explains breathlessly that since he's not being given any access to information at CTU, he decided to follow Kiefer around after he watched him take down Soul Patch. Kiefer explains that he's not trying to prevent the invasion of Fauxraqistan; he's just trying to help the President make his decisions based on fact. PMAA states once again that his country is not responsible for the B-O-M-B, and offers to help Kiefer get to the bottom of everything since Kiefer is now isolated from CTU and will need an insider.
CTU. Soul Patch, walking on crutches, approaches Bitchelle and tells her that Lesbo-Carrie saw him talking to Kiefer. "Yeah," says Bitchelle, shrugging. "Is that a problem?" He asks Bitchelle if she helped Kiefer kidnap a witness. Bitchelle lies and says that she did not intentionally draw the agent away from Cate Warner. "Is that what Lesbo-Carrie told you?" she asks. Soul Patch affirms this. "She doesn't know what she's talking about," insists Bitchelle. She claims that Lesbo-Carrie is trying to fuck with her. "Why?" asks Soul Patch. "Because she'd like to see me out of here," says Bitchelle. "Why?" asks Soul Patch again. "Because I don't like her." Soul Patch asks her to tell him about it -- every last delicious detail -- but Bitchelle declines, insisting that whatever is up, it's not going to interfere with her work. Soul Patch is all, "Okay," and dismisses her from his office. The time is 12:12:55 AM.
"Find Jack Bauer," says Electric Blue Palmer. Echo echo echo. The time is 12:17:21 AM. Klockwise from the top left, Soul Patch ponders the latest turn of events, PMHC stares at Palmer, and Kiefer and Cate drive to their meeting place. Wow, they're really pushing this Spawn storyline. It's even leading the second act. At the convenience store, the police continue to ask HisPanic to turn himself in over the megaphone. Inside, HisPanic is whining about having to go to prison for the rest of his life. Uh, yeah, that tends to happen when you kill someone. (I'm assuming MenacingStoreOwner is dead because they've given up on the whole CPR thing.) Meanwhile, Spawn is wiping down the coffee station for some reason and trying to assure HisPanic that everything is going to be okay if he turns himself in. The phone rings. Spawn goes to get it, but HisPanic tells her not to. He answers it himself, and it's the police, urging him to come out or at least let anyone out who may need medical attention. HisPanic explains that where the MenacingStoreOwner is concerned, it's too late for anything like that. He starts ruminating again about the B-O-M-B and the war and his wife. They put his wife on the phone. HisPanic admits to her that he's killed a man. He tells her to leave the city so that she can be safe from the oncoming war. "Ramon, mijo!" says Señora HisPanic all Telemundo-style. He then orders the police to take his wife to Monterey. Once she arrives there, he will release Spawn. Spawn doesn't look too thrilled about this.