Episode Report Card Sars: F | Grade It Now! YOU GRADE IT Baby blues
By Sars | Season 4 | Episode 19 | Aired on 04.24.2001
In a treehouse (?), the Flash busts out the cigars. Then he busts out a PSA about not lighting "these deadly things." Smoking kills -- the Flash told me so. After a father-son chuckle over the giant brown phallic symbols they have clenched in their teeth -- I know, I know, ew -- Dawson asks if the Flash thinks any of the names "they're kickin' around down there" will stick. The Flash broods that maybe their inability to pick a name means that they "aren't really dealing with what's about to happen" in their lives. Dawson raises his eyebrows and points out that they've had a baby before, so the Flash knows "what to expect, right?" The Flash describes the presence of a newborn "is pure, unadulterated hell." Dawson tries to argue, but the Flash says that it's true, and delivers an antediluvian monologue about how he doesn't "have a breast" and how men don't connect with babies the way women do, "not at first." Oh, bollocks -- dads love babies. I looked like a chewed-up, rained-on stuffed animal for the first two months of my life, and in every picture taken of me as a newborn, my dad is grinning down at me like he'd just won the lottery. Anyway, the Flash rambles on about feeling a connection to "this little person," and Dawson smiles tolerantly at his father's blathering before suggesting that perhaps they've waited to pick out a name because they wanted to "get a sense of" the baby before just slapping a name on him or her: "I think when you meet him you'll know." The Flash likes that idea.
Shower. Jen proposes "Emma" for a girl -- nice name, but a bit overused these days -- and Jackson for a boy, as in Jackson Pollock, because he "made a beautiful mess." Fade to Gretchen suggesting "Kurt," as in Kurt Cobain. Shut up, Gretchen. She also suggests "Isabella," harkening back to the boring story we heard her tell in "The Te Of Pacey." Fade to Grams offering "Rose" for a girl, and "Thomas" after someone she knew "a long time ago." Jen remembers who she's talking about -- Thomas Culpepper, mentioned in "True Love" last season -- and they exchange a fond look. Aw.
Treehouse. Dawson shocks a nation by changing the subject back to himself, mentioning Gretchen's potential move to Boston -- and, seriously, what's the big deal here? Boston is at most a two-hour drive from the Cape. In relationship terms, that's totally doable. The Flash wonders if Gretchen is distancing herself to avoid getting hurt because Dawson got into USC. Dawson shrugs that he doesn't know; he never expected Gretchen to come with him to California, and he knows CM is a great opportunity for her, but -- he trails off. The Flash reminds him that he and Gale got a divorce just a couple of years ago, and now they're "more in love than ever." Dawson asks if he means that, even if he and Gretchen break up, "[they're] still destined to be together." Oh, writers. Writers, writers, writers. Get off the destiny train. Please? Now? Today? The Flash tells Dawson that he has to follow his own path, because, "like with everything else in this life, you just never know." The Flash gives decent advice, generally speaking; it's mostly banalities, but he makes a lot of good points. Anyway, Dawson thinks that over; the Flash adds, "Look at you and Joey." Oh, man -- do we have to? Dawson chuckles wryly.