Episode Report Card Sars: F | Grade It Now! YOU GRADE IT Baby blues
By Sars | Season 4 | Episode 19 | Aired on 04.24.2001
Sars: H-hello?
Officer Sullivan: Miss Bunting? This is Officer Sullivan of the Seventeenth Precinct.
Sars: Uh...whuh...what the hell time is it?
Officer Sullivan: Well, ma'am, I'm sorry to disturb you at this hour, but I'm afraid we need you to come down to the station and post bail.
Sars: Bail. Bail? For wh -- oh my god, I'm going to kill him!
Officer Sullivan: We picked up your friend --
Sars: "Friend"? Oh, he's no friend of mine, I assure you.
Officer Sullivan: Well, regardless of the nature of your relationship, we do need you to --
Sars: All right, all right, let me put some shoes on and I'll come down there. But if he's throwing up, I can tell you right now, he's spending the night there.
Officer Sullivan: Oh, he's not throwing up. Anymore.
Sars: Oh, no.
Officer Sullivan: The bond is set at five hundred dollars.
Sars: Yes. Yes, it is.
Jack stops by the House Of Tobey to take him to tutoring. Tobey says he isn't going, claiming that, because of his injuries, he's "not exactly presentable." You look presentable to me, so "present" me with your clothes and let's get this party sta -- uh. Sorry. Jack proposes telling the kids that Tobey fell off his skateboard, and when Tobey doesn't think that will play, Jack says fine, they'll tell the kids he "fell off [his] high horse." Ha! Tobey laughs; Jack tells him to get his coat, and Tobey smiles and does so while teasing Jack about suddenly becoming a "homo-activist." Jack thinks it over and says that maybe he's "just a Tobey activist." I'd join that movement. Mmmm. Anyway, Tobey says that although his ego "would like to buy that attractive piece of merchandise," he doesn't think it fits. Jack rolls his eyes and explains that he did it as much for himself as he did for Tobey -- someday he'll want to walk through a park holding hands with a boy, and he doesn't want to have to worry about it. Jack then admits that he and Tobey aren't so different, even though he used to think otherwise, and besides, if he'd left tutoring early that night, "it would have been" him instead. "You're just now realizing this?" "Well, better late than never," Jack says good-naturedly. Tobey gives him more guff about the lateness as Jack helps him down the front steps, then comments that, if Jack "were really a Tobey activist," he would have carried Tobey down the steps. Jack tells him not to push his luck. Awww. Get 'em together!