Episode Report Card Keckler: F | Grade It Now! YOU GRADE IT Scent of a Vulcan
By Keckler | Season 1 | Episode 7 | Aired on 10.30.2001
Back in the room, Quantum's spitting out teeth and blood. Trip comes through the secret passage and tosses the Vulcan chess piece to him. You know, I always wanted to live in a house with secret passages. "Finally, a light at the end of the tunnel," Quantum says, looking at the Vulcan rook. Finally, an episode not riddled with clichés. Ugh, where did I put that sarcasm code? Here it is, under my next case of Post Road. "You know what to do, Commander," Quantum tells Trip, who nods and disappears back into the secret passage. The Vulcan Elder starts lecturing Quantum on how against this action they all are. Um, then why did they bother to help them get this far with it in the first place? Quantum tells them to stay out of the way and all will be well.
Aboard Enterprise, Reed leads an assault party consisting of himself and two Redshirts (can we even call them Redshirts anymore, since they all wear blue jumpsuits now?) to the transporter room. He instructs them to set their phase pistols to "stun." "Stun, sir?" one asks. "The Captain's instructions were quite explicit," Reed tells them. Hoshi approaches the transporter controls timidly. "It's a console, Ensign, it won't bite," Reed tells her wryly from the transporter pad. "No, it'll just scramble your molecules," Hoshi mutters, stepping up to it. One of the Redshirts hangs back. "Crewman?" Reed asks peremptorily. "We've, uh, heard stories, sir," Crewman About To Die says, "It might not be safe." Reed tells him he's heard the same stories: "Now get up here." Not much for boosting confidence, is he? How quickly we forget that he was the one complaining about using the transport for humans in the very first episode. Reed asks if the coordinates are set. Hoshi affirms that they are. "Then energize, before we change our minds," Reed says. Hoshi slides the three levers up, and the assault party sparkles off.
One of the lesser Blue Danubes notes an energy fluctuation, and Periwinkle tears off for the holding cell. The assault team hustles into the secret passage, and the panel slides shut just as the Bluebirds run in, pistols ready. They look around the room and see everyone acting casual. "We detected an energy surge," Periwinkle says, "and it came from this chamber." T'Pol suggests that they have wonky equipment. Periwinkle turns to her and says, "Or perhaps you have equipment we don't know about." That's it! The sensor array is under T'Pol's shirt. The Blue Hawaii looks around one more time, and Quantum does his best to look pathetic. "Watch them!" Periwinkle orders his second-in-command, who stays in the room with the prisoners.