Episode Report Card Jeff Long: A | Grade It Now! YOU GRADE IT What a Riot
By Jeff Long | Season 10 | Episode 1 | Aired on 07.19.2012
In a hurry? Read the recaplet for a nutshell description! Finished? Click here to close.There's no way any of these people can live up to the excellence in reality television personae set forth by our last winner Anya, but we're going to see what they've got for us. We begin in Times Square and everything is happening like right now. Some sort of fashion show is about to take place. There are a whole bunch of people talking to the camera like I should already know them and I don't. Tim, Heidi, Nina and Michael greet a crowd and Michael tells everyone that Project Runway has had more seasons than I Love Lucy. That means it's better, in case you were wondering. Same goes for any comparison between My So-Called Life and 7th Heaven. Thank youuuuu. Tim hasn't had sex since Karen Black was a movie star. Heidi is divorced. A bunch of people I still don't know are still talking to us.
Oh great, they're getting all narratively non-linear on us. A DAY EARLIER, we're going to meet these people. There are a bunch of them. Gunnar, who got kicked off before things even started last season, is back and I have serious issues with his personal style. They all gather at the workroom at Parsons. Everyone's checking each other out and Tim finally comes in. There's an Asian dude with an afro who I'm almost instantly obsessed with. All of the designers had apparently had to make a design that "represented them as artists." Tim says that they need to create a companion piece for their homework look and they will present it at some mega fashion show in Times Square, which sounds gross. Christopher, who is pretty rad, and Gunnar, who looks more ridiculous every time he's on the screen, do not get along because Gunnar is playing for the cameras which is so boring, I wish he knew. Andrea is 58 and says thing like, “What a riot!” as if the thing were not actually a riot and I think that's a riot. I'm not positive that maybe I didn't date this guy Fabio a few summers ago. I'm also wondering why I didn't try to make things work. He dumpster dives for food. Hell yeah. Christopher wants to kiss Tim, which I'm going to meditate on. As they're working, it appears that Gunnar has released himself from a lot of social norms in order to really POP on television, so we see him being incredibly rude to Christopher. Lucky for Christopher and disturbing for me, he seems more attractive the meaner Gunnar is.
The fashion show happens and no one really embarrasses themselves. Well, except for Lantie, but she also has that name, so she knows of embarrassment. Her junk is totes busted but she still gets to stay. Beatrice, whose knits were considered boring by the judges -- including guests Patricia Field and Lauren Graham -- gets the boot. Cute Christopher wins the challenge, which infuriates Gunnar. You know, this is going to be fun.
Want more? The full recap starts right below!No playing around, guys. This is Project Runway and it's starting right now. There's Heidi in a green dress in Times Square having her picture taken. Some girl on the sidelines says that its a great idea, they're really starting off this season with a bang. And suddenly we're backstage at a fashion show. There are designers talking to us and we don't know who they are. We don't know who they are, do we? Have I lost time? Some guy says that this is crazy, it's Times Square. He's apparently a designer and he definitely has crazy eyes.
Heidi greets the crowd in Times Square and mentions that this is the 10th season of Project Runway. Michael Kors adds that the show has had more seasons than I Love Lucy. That observation seems so completely random to me. Tim thanks the audience for making the careers of so many talented designers. Then, Heidi brings out the designers for a champagne toast. Some little dude with an afro says in an interview, "Times Square, oooooh" and makes an upwards pointed arrow with two fingers. I don't know what this means but I'm ON BOARD. What a weirdo. I love him. Everything so far in this minute-long broadcast has been completely disorienting. Crazy eyes says, "Does it get any bigger than Times Square? I don't think it does." So don't ask if you're not interested in my answer. It does not get any bigger than Times Square if you're looking for seated dining chain restaurants, a la Bubba Gump's. For fashion? There are "bigger" places. I mean, Times Square is disgusting. It's like one giant fanny pack. Some guy says that this is better than sex. To that I say, this makes me sad for him. Not that this doesn't look like a fun time, but if you haven't had sex that's better than this, you're doing something wrong. I mean, Michael Kors is present. You're telling me that you haven't had sex EVER that can match an experience where Michael Kors is present? I suggest you visit your doctor and explain the symptoms. It doesn't look like you've got much time left, but maybe we can manage your pain effectively as you slip away. Because you're dying of something is what I'm saying.
Tim and Heidi lead a toast to the new designers. Then, there's some rewind action and it's a day earlier. See what they did there? Always mixing it up. The designers are arriving in New York and we start to meet them. Here's Buffy Jashanmal. She's half-Indian/half-Australian and she grew up in Dubai. Boring! She says that her customer is someone who is always dressed up for the party. Here's Gunnar from Louisville, Kentucky. This is his second time coming to the show. Last season, he was the guy that got cut after they presented their stuff to the judges one last time. He says that this year he really knows his point-of-view a lot better. He and Buffy enter the workroom at Parsons and giggle with excitement.