Episode Report Card Sara M: C- | Grade It Now! YOU GRADE IT Drop This Show
By Sara M | Season 9 | Episode 1 | Aired on 09.12.2004
In the living room, Annie says it looks to her as if Simon and Georgia weren't expecting anyone in the house and were trying to sneak out unseen. Simon's like, "Yeah." Annie can't believe that Simon would do something with another girl when Asslee's on vacation. She asks what Simon and Georgia were doing in his room. "Well that's kinda personal," he responds. He says he's an adult and what he does in his own bedroom is his own business. And it is, if it's his own bedroom in his own house. But it's not; it's his parents' (well, the church's, but we'll just say "parents'" for the sake of this argument), and while parents should respect their children's privacy to a certain degree, what they do in their bedrooms isn't necessarily none of their business. Annie asks Simon if he's having sex, to which Simon pleads the Fifth Amendment. Annie says they will talk about this when RevCam gets home.
RevCam and Ruthie are sitting in what I guess is supposed to be the guidance counselor's office. RevCam and Counselor want to know why Ruthie pantsed Martin. Counselor proffers up a list of possible reasons for Ruthie to choose from, almost begging her to say that she did it on a dare. With fake tears in her eyes, Ruthie says she pantsed Martin because she felt like it. RevCam puts a hand on her shoulder, to which Ruthie screams at him to leave her alone. Wow, that's like the most acting Mackenzie Rosman has done since that one episode where she pretended she was pregnant like her mother and danced and sang and twirled around on the counter of a fast food restaurant. Martin enters, and everyone stares at each other.
Hey, it's Matt! And his hair looks freaking terrible! You'd think someone who lost his hair during chemotherapy would be appreciative of it and thus especially insistent that it look good, but I guess Barry Watson doesn't have that kind of pull in the make-up trailer. Matt enters the Treehouse of Lurv (Kevin and Lucy still haven't moved out? I mean, Paris and Vic are stupid losers and even they managed to get a duplex) and drops his bags quietly, because Lucy is sleeping. He takes a bottle of something from the mini-fridge (it looked like beer, but come on. You know Lucy doesn't allow that stuff in her pad) and tries to open it. Since he's Matt and he can't do anything right, he is not able to open the bottle. Finally, he finds a bottle opener and removes the cap with such vigor that it flies onto the floor. The noise awakens our sleeping non-beauty, who demands to know what Matt is doing there. He says he's visiting and Kevin did not ask him to come. Then he asks Lucy how she's doing. She says she was doing fine until her husband started tattling on her to her crappy brother. Matt says that many women share information about their pregnancies with their husbands, and he knows this because, as he says, striking a pose, he's "a doctor." Lucy points out that he isn't yet, and Matt says that he's helped out on some childbirths and stuff so if Lucy ever wants to talk to her brother about gynecological subjects, he would be more than happy to listen. I don't even like talking to my gynecologist about that kind of stuff; I can't imagine ever bringing it up with my brother. But then, he isn't a fake doctor like Matt. Lucy says she won't be sharing anything with Matt, and that she doesn't need her husband to summon her brother from New York. She also calls Matt "Mr. Smarty Doctor-Pants," so any maturity we may have thought she gained along with that pregnancy weight went right out the window. Matt looks uncomfortable and averts his eyes. He says that's fine, then tells Lucy that he "thinks" her pants just fell off. Lucy screeches and pulls her pants back up. "Whoo!" says Matt. This show has gone past bad and is firmly entrenched in bizarre.
High school. RevCam is telling Martin some cockamamie story about the development of teenage brains that basically exonerates Ruthie from any blame. Martin is understandably pissed. RevCam says that Ruthie is upset and embarrassed about what happened. "She's embarrassed? What about me?" says Martin. "I mean, I know I'm not your son, but I expected a little bit of sympathy and understanding. But hey -- maybe your brain's not working either. Maybe your whole family has brain problems!" Well, it's about time someone addressed SamVid's glaringly obvious disabilities. Martin storms away. Sing it, Martin! There's hope for you yet!