Episode Report Card Sara M: C- | Grade It Now! YOU GRADE IT Drop This Show
By Sara M | Season 9 | Episode 1 | Aired on 09.12.2004
Annie comes downstairs with the car keys. Wow, and it only took her an hour to find them. RevCam leaves. Annie looks sad. But then RevCam and the twins come right back. RevCam says that the twins want their mother to take them to school after all. Annie squeals and jumps up and down with joy. She and the twins exit, leaving RevCam to flashback to a brief scene of SamVid as newborns. They sure were better actors then.
Theme song! Barry Watson and David Gallagher have pushed poor old Beverley Mitchell back to fifth billing again. While it's funny, it's not really fair. She should at least be ahead of Gallagher. But at least she doesn't have to follow the Brinos, like George Stults and Tyler Hoechlin.
The first Opening Credits Timewaster of the new season is Ruthie trying to figure out where her first class is. She has no luck asking people, which is probably because she's like half the size of all of her classmates and they can't see her all the way down there. Oh, but I feel for the girl. I was tiny like that when I was her age. I was a lot smarter than her, however, so I had the entire high school memorized before my first day so I wouldn't end up in her current situation. Also unlike Ruthie, I had a lot of friends to join me in our search for our classes. Eventually, Ruthie spots Martin talking to some of his friends and walks towards him. When he doesn't acknowledge her, though, she gives up and walks past. Then she stops short, just as "written by Brenda Hampton" flashes across the screen (NOOOO!!!!), and an evil grin spreads across her face. In slow-motion, she turns around and runs towards Martin. Then she pantses him. Martin pulls his pants back up as his friends stare at the scene with big dumb jock "duh" expressions on their face. Ruthie turns to run away, only to collide with an angry-looking teacher.
Annie glares at a piece of paper, then yells at SamVid. They say they're sorry. Annie asks what happened, and of course they have to tell the story "cutely" so they switch speakers like every other word, and they don't even know how to talk so I can't and won't repeat it verbatim. Basically, some girl in their class was going to hit them, so the bigger twin hit her first. She started to cry, so the bigger twin "tried to stalk her." I swear to god, that is what he said. Vid and that girl will be engaged in no time. When the girl started screaming, SamVid ran away. Their teacher chased them, but she tripped and fell, giving the twins time to hide in the bathroom. The teacher found them there, and sent them home with the letter. "The end," they say in unison. Annie hears a noise from the other room, so she leaves the twins to investigate. Because even sounds of the house settling are more interesting to her than her own children.
Alas, it turns out not to be the house making noise, but Simon and some blonde girl running downstairs. And y'all -- Simon is buttoning up his shirt and the girl is fixing her hair! Looks to me like sex was had! Annie confronts them, and Simon introduces his friend from school, "Georgia." It would seem that Brenda lost her "Most Popular Baby Names of 1957" book over the hiatus, so she picked up an atlas and decided to use that to name her characters instead. Look out next week for new character "Rhode Island," a classmate of Ruthie's who lives with his parents "Wyoming" and "Pennsylvania." And is a Muslim. Annie asks to speak to Simon in the living room, and he reluctantly follows her.