Episode Report Card Gustave: B- | Grade It Now! YOU GRADE IT Find Kyle Singer!
By Gustave | Season 3 | Episode 5 | Aired on 11.24.2003
Anyway, as "wind chimes in a windy desert" plays on the soundtrack, Mista Clean has his cohorts put all of the guards on their knees. "Who wants to live!?!?" he shouts. No one answers, so he randomly shoots one of them. "Okay," he says. "Let's try it again. Who wants to live?!?!?!" Finally that guy who played Forrest on Buffy steps forward. They sit him down at a table. "Who else?" shouts Mista Clean. No answer, so he selects Kiefer because he's "new." Next he grabs a pistol from one of his cohorts, removes all but one of the bullets from the chamber, spins it, and hands it to Forrest. After an eternity of hesitation, scenery-chewing, intimidation, and pathos, Forrest is finally induced to pull the trigger. Oops. Bye, Forrest. Kiefer is proclaimed the winner of Round One of Russian Roulette. "Let's hear it for the new guy!" shouts Mista Clean. The time is 05:24:35 PM.
Viewer discretion is still advised. The time is 05:28:59 PM. Klockwise from the top left, Kiefer waits to not die, PoorMan'sJennieGarth nurses Kontagious Kyle back to health in front of what looks -- at least on my television -- like a bare human butt, and Palmer continues to debate Ruby Keeler. Back at CTU, Spawn pushes lots of buttons on that thingamajig machine at her desk and uses big words to inform Adam the Woman Hater what she's doing with her magic typewriter/television. She looks a little down, so Adam tries to cheer her up by offering to tell the grownups at CTU that he was partially responsible for Spawn's issuance of that prison transfer. "Thanks," she says giving him a half-smile. God, I wish I had a vagina. But wait, something's coming up on Spawn's magic television. An error message. Adam the Woman Hater is getting the same thing. He does some typing on the keys of his magic typewriter and concludes that the problem has to do with an "internal router."
Back in Crystal Gael's back room, Crystal is taking a screwdriver to this big computer-y wall unit thingie while he watches Spawn and Adam TWH flail at their desks on his monitor. Spawn walks over to his back room and asks him what he's doing. "There's a problem with one of the routers," says Crystal Gael. "I'm trying to fix it." Spawn asks him why he doesn't call a tech. Crystal gives her some unlikely Whatever Technology explanation and basically assures her that he's just fixed it. "Let me know if you have any more problems," he says. Spawn is all, "I will." But there's something rotten in Denmark, and even Spawn can smell it. When she goes back to her desk, the system is up and running, and Adam has zeroed in on the license plate number of the car Kontagious Kyle was captured in. They call Bitchelle at her desk with their news, and she orders them to alert the authorities to search high and low for the vehicle. After she hangs up with them, she has another call on hold that she gets back to. It's someone she calls "Ryan," and one can only assume it's Ryan Chappelle. "Do you have any idea if Kiefer is trying to break out Hartmano on his own or is he working with someone?" asks the voice from the other end of the line. "I'm working on it," says Bitchelle.