Episode Report Card Gustave: B- | Grade It Now! YOU GRADE IT Find Kyle Singer!
By Gustave | Season 3 | Episode 5 | Aired on 11.24.2003
Back at the prison, it's one of those Bob Hope/Bing Crosby road movies where Kiefer and Hartmano have knocked out the prison guards, taken their uniforms to impersonate them, and gotten into a whole new mess o' trouble. Kiefer warns Hartmano that the prisoners are in control now and their only way out is to fight through them. And indeed, he's right. They walk down this corridor and encounter a bunch of prisoners who, thinking they're prison guards, want to kill them. A leader amongst them -- who looks like an African-American version of Mr. Clean -- stops the violence and takes them hostage instead. Kiefer, Hartmano, and a gaggle of hostages are parading down a corridor when Mista Clean encounters Special Agent Charlie Brown. They start shooting at each other. "We have hostages so back off," shrieks Mista Clean. Special Agent Charlie Brown demands that he hold his fire, but lets them pass without incident. As the hostages are moved along, Special Agent Charlie Brown notices a particularly velvety hostage among them. They make knowing eye contact. The time is 05:11:14 PM.
Due to some graphic violence, viewer discretion is advised. Woo hoo!!! The time is 05:15:40 PM. Klockwise from the top left, Dr. Anne watches the debate, Palmer advocates what sounds like Al Gore's "locked box," Special Agent Charlie Brown examines the floor plan of the prison, and Spawn looks meaningfully at her computer screen. So back at CTU, Adam the Woman Hater is hating again. He's all over Spawn for some Whatever Technology misdeed. "I don't know where your head is at," says Adam TWH. "But we need to find Kyle Singer before he's contagious." Spawn is all, "Relax, I'm doing the best I can." So then Adam TWH is all, "The best we can isn't what we do around here. It's either done or it's not." What is this? An est seminar? Bitchelle calls Adam from her desk and tells him to chill out. She also briefs him on the Kiefer-induced riot going on at the prison, and concludes that Spawn needs a little slack today because that prison riot is, essentially, her fault; she was the one who issued the prison transfer. This, of course, is like saying that the Menendez brothers need a hug because they're orphans. "We're all under a lot of pressure here," says Bitchelle. "So let's just find Kyle Singer before it's too late."
Back in the Terror-arium, Kyle has found some wires and attached them to those pipes. What are wires doing in a giant glass and cement cage that doesn't have electricity inside it? "What are you doing?" asks Jennie. "There is no way out of here!" "You don't deserve what happened," says Kyle, fashioning a makeshift noose out of the wires and putting it over his head. "If I die, the V-I-R-U-S dies with me." He jumps off the chair and hangs by his neck. PoorMan'sJennieGarth frantically tries to steady the chair and get him to stand on it again. Failing that, she stands on the chair herself, grabs the pipes, and brings them down with her weight, thus saving Kyle. They lie breathlessly on the ground of the Terror-arium. Damn. I wanted Kyle to die.