Episode Report Card Sars: D | 1 USERS: A+ YOU GRADE IT Detention
By Sars | Season 1 | Episode 7 | Aired on 03.02.1998
And now, a musical interlude. When Old Joey was in Egypt laaaand...let Old Joey...goooooo.
Gym. Cheerleaders, gold pom-poms, sweaty Dawson, sweaty Pacey. Pacey wanting to play one-on-one, Dawson asking why, Pacey saying he's "on a roll with the ladies here" and "you don't get any play when you're sittin' on the bench," Sars observing that it didn't take Pacey long to forget TaMAHra's entire existence and predicting that, if she has to endure one more sex-as-sporting-event metaphor, she will plunge a safety pin into her eye. Dawson wanting to go to lunch; Pacey bribing Dawson into playing with an offer to buy him lunch. Pacey showing Dawson up in a big way; Dawson getting all pissy about it and fixing to leave. Pacey saying he needs Dawson "to make me look good," Dawson asking angrily how he would make Pacey look good, and Pacey joking, "You suck worse than I do." Dawson taking the ball and, so to speak, going home; Pacey telling him to learn to take a joke and adding, "Come on, pass me the ball, Oompa Loompa." Dawson wheeling around and stalking towards Pacey, Pacey turning around to get the cheerleaders' attention, and Dawson slamming the ball dead into Pacey's face just as Pacey turns back around. Gym teacher yelling, "What the hell?" and storming over. Cheerleaders gathering around Pacey to tend his bloody nose. Dawson looking guilty. Gym teacher ordering Dawson to "cool off tomorrow in all-day detention." Dawson's nostrils tearing a hole in the space-time continuum.
Early morning Saturday. Dawson and Jen walk down the deserted hallway together, and Dawson remarks that neither of them "deserves to be here." Jen laughs, "Well, I don't, but I kinda think you do." Word. Unbelievably, even for Dawson, he doesn't see why he deserves detention, and Jen has to remind him that he hit Pacey in the face with a basketball and broke his nose, to which Dawson responds, "I didn't break his nose." Good comeback, Big D. Not. Jen adds, "Pacey's your best friend," and Dawson bitches that, ever since Pacey lost his virginity, "he's been copping this attitude with me," and while I know how awkward and weird it feels when your friend has more experience than you do sexually, I don't think that justifies breaking said friend's nose, especially since I have seen little or no evidence of this alleged "attitude" of Pacey's, but I would like to commend Dawson on his amazing ability to make everything, no matter how remote or tangential, about him. Well, except for the "commend" part. Anyhow. Jen chides Dawson, saying that she thought he could control his "animal instincts," and Dawson snorts that, on the contrary, they control him. They kiss and head into the library.