Episode Report Card Lady Lola: C- | 1 USERS: A+ YOU GRADE IT Meatball Meltdown
By Lady Lola | Season 4 | Episode 8 | Aired on 09.22.2011
Eventually Jionni actually does arrive, and Snooki sheds tears of joys at the sight of him. She explains, "Jionni is, like, my world. Jionni is like Crocodilly but alive." Well, Snooki why didn't you tell us before? I didn't know it was that serious. Jionni has barely set his feet in the door and said hi to the roommates before Snooki order, "Let's go in the Smush Room." While he showers and hangs up his clothes, she changes the sheets and Febrezes the Smush Room: "Just making sure, you know, like, we don't get diseases." Considering Sitch and Brittany were in their last night, that's probably a wise move. Make that definitely. Jionni is finally ready, and Snooki practically leads him by the ears to get it in (or by the "tan wiener," as it were). They run into Sitch along the way, though, and he gives Jionni a long up-and-down. He tells Vinny, "He's very curious about me. I don't like it. I think he knows..." While Snooki gets her rocks off, Sitch adopts a paranoid tone and tells the rest of the gang showily that, if Jionni approaches him with questions, he'll be prepared to defend himself. By running into a wall again? Or by busting out whatever bullshit ninja moves he leaps into the next minute? These moves are not unlike the teddy bear cam footage from the end of Meet the Parents. Even Deena says dismissively, "Do your thing, Kung Fu Panda."
A bit later, everyone gets ready to go out for the night. For Snooki, this involves putting on a piece of hot pink leopard spandex that grazes the bottom of her cuca. It is seriously the sluttiest outfit I've ever seen on the show, and that's saying a lot. Jionni wants her to change, but she thinks she's looking hot. Meanwhile, Sitch is still going on about this supposed confrontation he's going to have with Jionni. I'm beginning to think that Jionni is The Situation's Tyler Durden. He tells JWOWW, "If Jionni came up to me and winked, I'd kick him in the head." JWOWW rolls her eyes because she knows Jionni doesn't give a damn about Sitch. Sitch claims he's only been caught with his guard down once -- in the "fight" with Ronnie. JWOWW calls him out, "You never fought. You hit yourself!" She interviews, "I can't wait for Mike to, like, kick in the air and slip on a banana and, like, break his ankle." Good call! That really is what this show needs: Some good, old-fashioned physical slapstick.
While Sitch practices his fight stance, which really looks more like something out of the "Bad" video, Jionni tells Snooki he's never loved "something" as much as her. She excited ponders how cute and tan their guido babies will be, though she concedes, "I hope I have a C-section because I don't want it to fuck up my vagina." They make out furiously at the bar while Sitch eyes them suspiciously. Some time later, Sitch spreads his delusion to Ronnie, claiming Jionni is giving him dirty looks. In fact, he should be worried about Snooki because she's noticed his constant scrutiny and reporting the weird behavior back to Jionni. JWOWW worries Snooki is basically lighting a match next to a powder keg.