Episode Report Card Lady Lola: C- | 1 USERS: A+ YOU GRADE IT Meatball Meltdown
By Lady Lola | Season 4 | Episode 8 | Aired on 09.22.2011
The gang decides to head to another club, so they hop in separate cabs. En route. Sitch reports an encounter he had with Jionni where Jionni was basically like, "Hi, nice to finally meet you. You seem like an all right dude," but which Sitchy took to mean, "I thirst for your blood." Vinny realizes that Sitch is paranoid and playing out both sides of "an imaginary confrontation." Pauly, of course, tries to keep things light by saying, "If you want to talk to him, knock yourself out!" Har har. They arrive at the club, where Sitch continues to be a weirdo. He finally approaches Snooki and threateningly orders her to tell her if there's a problem. Snooki tells him to relax, all the while rearing back her fists of fury in case Sitch gets out of line.
Things settle between the two guys for a minute, giving Snooki to piss off Jionni by flashing her underwear (and perhaps a bit more) as she dances on a platform. He tells her she's "dancing like a fuckin' whore," which she takes nonchalantly, so he tosses his jacket in her face. Class act. He storms out. JWOWW follows after him but fails to convince him to stay. Snooki begins to cry and takes off in a sprint to catch up with him, though she falls several times along the way. I'm not sure what's more embarrassing -- the drunken falling or the screaming out after someone in public. Either way, Snooki's got all the bases covered. Ronnie catches up and sends her back to JWOWW while he tries to find Jionni and calm him down. Since that worked so well on the phone that one time...
It's immediately obvious that JWOWW will not be able to calm down Snooki, who has launched into a screaming, sobbing meltdown out of nowhere. It really doesn't help when JWOWW starts screaming in Snooki's face that she's acting like an asshole. Snooki shrieks repeatedly, "Don't touch me! Don't get near me! I hate you!" Even Sammi, who has seen and been at the center of some really serious drama of this ilk, is all, "What the fuck?" JWOWW sees that finding Jionni is the only way to calm Snooki down, so she goes to look for him. Meanwhile, Snooki sits on a street corner screaming, "Where's my boyfriend?!!!" Then she begins to assault a taxi cab -- the actual car. It is Winehouse-level messy, y'all.
Finally Ronnie finds Jionni, explaining that he's advocating for the couple because he sees in them a bit of the old dynamic between Sammi and him. Jionni explains quite calmly, to his credit, that he doesn't want to be with someone who acts the way Snooki does. As they talking, by the way, you can hear Snooki wailing several streets over. Ronnie responds equally as calmly, "It's the life you walked into." He interviews that Jionni should have known what was coming to him when he got picked up by a girl in Seaside. He encourages Jionni to man up and talk things out with Snooki. I might add to that advice "tomorrow." He gives an exasperated sigh and keeps walking. Elsewhere, the housemates comfort Snooki as she walks around the streets sobbing. Several streets over, JWOWW has found Jionni's on his trail. She calls out to him while hobbling on the cobblestone streets in her spiky heels, which she finally takes off, saying, "Well... at least I got to say I walked fuckin' Florence barefoot." Is that, like, a bucket list thing? Back to the group, who pile Snooki into a cab, which she immediately begins attacking. What's with all the car hatred? The Fiat didn't do anything to you, girl.