Episode Report Card Jacob Clifton: C+ | Grade It Now! YOU GRADE IT Aeryn Wide Awake In the Garden
By Jacob Clifton | Season 1 | Episode 2 | Aired on 03.25.1999
John walks into his quarters, where one of the bugs is removing a stray hair from a little black astronaut comb, and comms in to Pilot that the tier five passageway is clear, and he's heading for Rygel and Zhaan's quarters next. So far, so good. Then, of course, he notices the open vent in his room, and gets worried. He finally spots the giant bug on the floor, and hops up onto a flange in the wall. "Um! Anybody, uh, anybody hear me? Anybody?" D'Argo comms and John tells him they may have located the problem. D'Argo asks over and over what he's found, but he's too busy edging away from the bug, and then noticing another one on the ceiling, and then generally doing the Dance of Cockroaches you might remember from college, where the floor is hot lava and you've got the willies. "Bugs!" he finally yelps, and Aeryn comms in to tell him he's an idiot: "Stop wasting time! Ship beetles don't clog exhaust vents!" John says it's more possible when they're two feet long, and asks for an ID on the things. D'Argo says he'll have to catch one of them, and John realizes he's actually gotta do something and interact with the creatures and that Zhaan was right. Aeryn comms that they're on their way, and to under no circumstances let the bugs get back into the vents. "Between you and me," he levels with the bugs, "You guys can go anywhere you want." The one on the ceiling drops, and heads for the vent, and John gets cornered by the other one, at which he screams, causing it to stand up on several legs, horrifyingly, and John begins to rue the day like it's never been rued before. They dance back and forth like Duck Soup, hilariously, and he finally manages to drop a blanket on top of one of them. He cheers wildly for himself for a bit before clobbering the thing. He waits for a while to see if it'll move, and then makes to take off with it, hanging like a hobo knapsack. It screams again, so he beats it some more. It's a human reaction. The blanket is covered in blood. It's just a parasite. He looks inside and almost boots.
In the medical bay, Zhaan cuts the bug and prays for it. Rygel makes fun of her for praying for a parasite, and she reminds him that they don't know what it is. "Well, it's on board this ship, uninvited!" he yells, and she admits she shares his concern. "But if I can analyze its DNA, perhaps we can understand why it's here." Rygel, because he's disgusting, grabs a big clot of bug and sniffs it, reminding her in turn that there could potentially be hundreds of them in the living quarters. Zhaan says she's agrees with Crichton's theory that they came aboard when the space cloud floated all over them. Rygel daubs a bit of the bug guts on Zhaan's perfect ass. He's so weird. She stops like going to yell at him about Moya's sexual harassment policy, but then exclaims, "Crichton! ...It's Crichton's DNA?"
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