Episode Report Card Jacob Clifton: C+ | Grade It Now! YOU GRADE IT Aeryn Wide Awake In the Garden
By Jacob Clifton | Season 1 | Episode 2 | Aired on 03.25.1999
A Marauder can go "hetch seven," which even John knows isn't that great: "That thing's a Hyundai!" He gives a whole speech to Aeryn's neck. He's not even trying to avoid the question at this point. D'Argo: "If they discover us, Crais will know exactly where to concentrate his search. And we cannot outrun a Command Carrier." Aeryn agrees with John, who gets pissy: "Of course [D'Argo's right], Ms. Sun! He's been here longer." The Marauder stops scanning and takes off, and Aeryn's whole body relaxes. Poor Aeryn. Pilot thanks her for her help, and she half-smiles: "We work together well, Pilot." Poor Aeryn. Outside, the haze moves around strangely, and seems to dissipate, causing John to sigh about the wonders of space -- but of course it's only coalescing in Moya's docking bay. And it's bugs! Horrible cockroaches everywhere! Credits! Ha hoo ha! Ya ya yo!
In the maintenance bay, John's flipping over a a DRD after tinkering. I always thought of them as Moya's immune system, but I like "laser-firing metal cats on wheels" better. "Go on, get outta here. Shoo. Go. Go home," he mutters to it, because even with the dentic he understands being nice to your parasites. Aeryn futzes around, trying to get things Enterprise clean so she doesn't have to think about the PKs, but John's not having it. He's a scab-picker. "So, those Marauders really shook you up." She answers the letter and not the spirit, because feelings are the enemy: "The ship is called a Marauder. The team on board are Commandos." And in case you forgot that she's ex-PK -- or that John loves poking this particular beehive -- he goes to the same place he does in every episode. "Like you?" She ignores it, which is wise, and starts tossing shit around. He asks if she's worried they'll come back, and she says it's unlikely: "Marauders follow a very strict search pattern. It's a cross-hatch star pattern." Because those who can't handle, teach, she draws it out for him in some pink debris. It looks like a multiplication symbol, like an asterisk, and if you go to the bottom of the page it says:
*Aeryn is not interested in your mess, so here's a small lesson in tactics.
She describes it as "Clean and efficient...no prey escapes." (I bet a regular Peacekeeper thinks they're just like the Federation: idealist, utopian, open-minded, egalitarian. And if they don't really take the Prime Directive into consideration, well, the Bajorans did okay, right? I bet the PKs love Star Trek.) "You ever serve on one?" Aeryn tells him that her "application for transfer was awaiting Crais' approval" when everything went to shit. "This little mutiny," she calls it, and tries to pull fascist rank on Earthlings: "I'm sure your world has no force so ruthless, so disciplined." John's like, "They're called linebackers...or serial killers. Depends on whether they're professional or amateur." Something else looks at them in Monstervision as John tries again with old Aeryn. "Look, you're not in this alone. Everybody onboard has had their lives derailed from what they thought they were gonna be. Should be. We're stuck together. And as long as we are, we might as well be --" She laughs right in his beautiful face with her big beautiful face. "What? Family? Friends? I want neither." You need both, lady. As well as a bunch of Jesus. Love isn't invasion, it's symbiosis: be nice to your parasites. "Well, somebody's gotta be there when you need 'em," accents John desperately, and Aeryn asks him what the hell she could possibly get out of John. Besides awesome makeouts, I guess, and he mutters to himself, "Manners? Personality? Stock tips?"
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