Episode Report Card Wing Chun: D | 1 USERS: D YOU GRADE IT Indian Summer
By Wing Chun | Season 3 | Episode 5 | Aired on 10.26.1999
Sun rises over the dock. Just in case we hadn't picked up from previous scenes that it's a bit warm out, the DC visual effects team has helpfully added distorting heat waves over the establishing shots. Hey, is it Indian summer, or something? Joey "The Bodyguard" Potter cleans a boat. Sleazy Rob the DockDude watches her through venetian blinds (hey, is this episode supposed to be an homage to film noir, or something?) and then appears beside her with a can of pop, suggesting that she "hydrate" herself. Uh, to do that she'd need water; drinking a carbonated, caffeinated beverage would be the fastest way for Joey to dehydrate herself. She declines. He insists. She takes it. It's Diet Coke. It sure looks refreshing! She holds the can gingerly in order not to cover the logo. Rob complains of the heat, takes off his shirt, and throws it on Joey's lap. Glark, in his Jimbo Jones voice, says, "You're never gonna believe this. My shirt's chafing me." Rob indicates his topless torso and asks if it will offend Joey's "delicate sensibilities."
Joey picks up Rob's shirt with the end of her broom handle and flicks it back at him. God, please let this be a sign of the triumphal return of Old Joey. She says that since she needs this job to support Bessie and Alexander, she will choose to look the other way. Ignoring what she just said, Rob invites her to the movies that night. Joey says, "Oh, joy. Is this the part of our workday when you get inappropriate?" and when he persists, she says, "Ask me again in two years when I am legal." Rob says that if Joey doesn't watch it, someone else will take him up on his offer and she'll be "green with envy." Joey thinks she can live with that possibility. Rob picks up the hose and sprays her with it. With what sounds like genuine alarm and anxiety, Joey repeatedly yells at him to stop it. Rob finally does, and asks if all teenage girls are as uptight as she is. Joey says, "No, just the ones with half a brain," and stalks off. Rob the DockDude's continued sexual harassment of Joey is brought to you by Diet Coke. Just for the taste of it: Sexual Harassment!
Dawson tries to play gumshoe, investigating Skeeve, but it comes across more like dumbshoe. He determines that she never worked at the strip bar, and that no one named Eve Whitman has ever been registered at Capeside High.
Oh, crap. I totally forgot to watch the WB Radio Music Awards.
At school, Jack complains to Henry "Fool" Parker about having to endure football practice in the heat. Henry is unsympathetic, and starts to say that if they're late, "Big, bad Mitch is going to kick our..." Jack says, "Our what?" but Henry can't answer because Jen is walking toward them wearing a slip dress and sucking on a...red, white and blue popsicle. Jack tells Henry to ask Jen out when she comes over. Henry says it's not that easy, because Jen is a goddess. Jack says, "If you think she looks good in that, you should see her in a towel." Henry's eyes pop out. Hey, Jack -- that's not a nice thing to do to poor Henry. As the Electric Guitar of Unfulfilled Juvenile Desire twangs, Jen joins Jack and Henry and offers them each a "lick" of her popsicle. Henry looks like he's going to pass out. Jen books. Henry reminds Jack that Jen puts him in a fugue state whenever she's around. Jack says, "What if you didn't have to ask her out?" Henry think Jack means that Jack could get Jen to ask Henry out, and says, "I am so down with that feminist stuff." Yeah, that's obvious. Jack suggests that their first date could be "like kismet" -- the two of them showing up at the same place, at the same time. Henry looks confused.
More establishing shots of Capeside looking hot. Is it still --? Okay, because I wasn't sure; no one had said it was hot there. I think I get it now. Deputy Doug tickets illegally parked cars. Dawson strolls up, and DD teases him about the phone call the other night. Dawson tells DD that he's working on a film noir screenplay involving a mysterious woman, and asks how his "cop protagonist" might locate someone who doesn't want to be found. DD asks who the girl is. Dawson says she's a "lost soul" -- a wild child who is actually sweet beneath all her "posturing." Yeah, if by "sweet" you mean "skanky," and if by "posturing" you mean "convulsions." DD suggests that Dawson stake out the laundromat. If there are any shots of Skeeve washing her underwear, you're going to have to fill in the rest of this episode using your imaginations, because I'll be in the hospital with a compazine drip.