Episode Report Card Jacob Clifton: C+ | Grade It Now! YOU GRADE IT Last Tanga In The Paris Commune
By Jacob Clifton | Season 1 | Episode 6 | Aired on 04.22.1999
"Purpose?" asks John, but the grotsky chick grabs D'Argo and they run off. John wows about "My boy D'Argo, into the Promised Land," and Aeryn's still grossed out. "Yes, and he's left his brain behind." Which is admittedly the other part of this, because it's as much Aeryn's episode as D'Argo's: if you're not a warrior, with a warrior's mind, what are you?
A skinny albino lady with pretty features but intense red eyes and gray veins all over and white woolen extensions comes tottering up, looking crazy, with some bodyguards that she leaves behind. She's wearing all white (the hippies are wearing all red, Aeryn's wearing all black). The visual here is that the people are ruddy because they work all day in the fields, while she stays creepy-lily white indoors like a fat hive queen, and that's how you know what the deal is. Her name is Volmae, and Zhaan greets her warmly, and formally, touching her hands and doing mysterious Delvian gestures. "Greetings. I am Pa'u Zotoh Zhaan. This is John Crichton" -- John gives her a peace sign, in keeping with their hellish environment -- "Aeryn Sun. And his eminence, Dominar Rygel the XVI." She talks like she's having a stroke right this second, the entire episode, but unlike last week, it is not horribly annoying, because she's actually ambiguous, whereas last week, Matala was obviously evil before she'd even docked her shuttle. She says it's a pleasure to welcome them to Sykar, which is the planet of course, and calls herself their leader, "as much as anyone is our leader." Hippies! Run! She says D's been talking about the Moya crew, and Zhaan's like, "In that he probably told you we are not staying here for more than one hot second and that we're harmless, right?" Volmae's all, "Basically, but like just feel some vibes and get groovy and do whatever."
She takes off and Aeryn says, clearly and loudly, "She gives me a woody." Zhaan gives her a quizzical look, John gives her a bemused and kind of horrified one. "A woody. A human saying, I've heard you say it often: when you don't trust someone, or they make you nervous, they give you --" And John interrupts her, loving it: "Willies. She gives you the willies." He's insistent on this point but still kind of mind-blown about the conversation. An indecipherable announcement that doesn't actually matter comes over the PA, and they all scatter. John says that only a "simple people" would've managed not to invent last call.
Outside the bar, the announcements are still going on. You can hear bits and parts but it's all like, "Working is awesome and tomorrow is Saturday and Rupert Murdoch loves you and Ignorance is Strength and Bah-Dah-Bah-Bah-Bah I'm Loving It" and the like. Aeryn checks out Rygel, who's in distress. What kind? Digestive, of course. He takes off, belching. Aeryn sees D'Argo wandering in the throng of gross hippies and catches up to him. "You're staying the night! Excellent. Tomorrow is a rest day -- I'll be able to show you all the wonders of this planet," he sing-songs at her, carelessly, and then disappears with the gross chick.