Episode Report Card Jacob Clifton: C+ | Grade It Now! YOU GRADE IT Last Tanga In The Paris Commune
By Jacob Clifton | Season 1 | Episode 6 | Aired on 04.22.1999
John now becomes totally rockin' awesome and the episode ends really quickly without a lot of "sub" in the text. And if you're bothered by the quickness of this resolution, you need to get right with the proletariat, because those bitches can turn on a dime. He's sitting on the bar watching the awful dancing when Volmae comes up and tells him to quick like a bunny fetch Aeryn and Rygel so she can have the whole family. "Don't think so. I think I'd rather have you step outside, princess." She goes from seeming seizure to actual seizure. "I order you to bring them here." John signals Aeryn on comms, and the music abruptly stops. John walks out, and behind him in the silence, Volmae angrily orders the musicians to continue. When you actually have to tell the drum circle to stop fucking around and get to drumming, I bet that's, like, so weird.
Outside, John and Aeryn are booking it to that beam where Rygel gave himself his first assassination attempt. Volmae follows, with a crowd of useful idiots who don't actually know what's going on or anything. "I heard Dane Cook was coming." John requests his friends back, and Volmae fronts about "How dare you make demands?" He calls her "Snow White" and reveals the obvious fact that he is immune to the tannot. Zhaan's confused about what John's up to; Aeryn locks and loads. D'Argo protests that he's really happy at Burning Man and he will not let John destroy the futile, brainless contentment he has found. "If necessary, I will destroy you first." John signals Rygel, who gets pee-shy up on the ledge, giving D'Argo time to grab Aeryn's gun and Volmae to order ... somebody ... to grab John and Aeryn. I don't know who she's talking to; neither do they. Every hippie stares stupidly at every other hippie, like they can't remember if Dave Matthews already did the second encore and they should just stop clapping or what.
Rygel pisses directly at D'Argo and everything explodes. Everybody falls back and pouts about the buzzkill of explosive urine. John thanks Rygel sweetly and explains that the "demonstration" was, in fact, fueled by the tannot. "The ones who collect the tannot, they use it to fuel that pulse rifle, there." D'Argo's like, "They're Peacekeepers?" Volmae is horrified, and I think she's sincere: "No! They say they only use it for food!" John asks D'Argo how far you can trust a Peacekeeper, and continues explaining the science Aeryn figured out: "When the tannot is processed and mixed with the right chemicals, like it is in Rygel's stomach," he begins, and Aeryn proudly finishes his sentence: "...It makes chakan oil. Do you understand what that means? It fuels all Peacekeeper weapons." John points out that being a peace-loving bunch of retards is awesome, but they're contributing to the killing and subjugation of entire systems by the Peacekeepers. "They use it to imprison and to enslave," he says.