Episode Report Card LuluBates: B- | Grade It Now! YOU GRADE IT Hot Girl-on-Girl Action
By LuluBates | Season 3 | Episode 15 | Aired on 04.03.2007
Juliet is still pestering Kate about whether the monster is really gone and whether or not they are safe. Kate does not believe for a single second that Juliet has never seen the monster before, but Juliet swears on her dislocated shoulder that it's true. Juliet is still in agony over her shoulder, and Kate starts to apologize again. Juliet says not to flatter herself because it is the fourth time her shoulder has been dislocated. That is why her ninja masters abandoned her and she is a ronin. Then she gets nasty and tells Kate that she has to help her because she would be on her way home right now if it wasn't for Kate. Kate and I don't follow the logic in that argument, but whatever. Kate retorts, "Jack told me not to come back to protect me. Because he didn't want me to get hurt." Juliet laughs, "Is that what you think? We have cameras on the cages, Kate. All of them. He saw you. You and Sawyer. He told you not to come back not because he didn't want you to get hurt, but because you broke his heart! So grab my arm, push up, and cause me pain now bitch!" Hot!! Kate grabs her arm and does just that. XXXtra hott!
In his imbecilic attempts to convince an entire Island to like him, Sawyer has resorted to the old political trick of flat-out bribery. Since his attempted bribery of Sun failed so miserably last episode, he has realized that the only real currency on the Island is meat. Don't tell PETA. Or maybe they should tell PETA and Ingrid Newkirk herself will come parachuting onto the Island to Stop the Brutal Slaughter of Boars! They would be saved!! So in pursuit of meat and salvation, Sawyer has sought out Desmond's help in shooting a boar. He has his unloaded handgun and is up at the crack of dawn. He ingratiates himself by complaining about the early hour, and Desmond rolls his eyes and explains that boars like to hit the early bird specials at the IHOP, and the best time to shoot one is when they are headed for a refill of Cinnastackers. Desmond is then forced to ask, "What's your angle, brother?" Because he is contractually obligated to say "brother" at least once per episode. Sawyer doesn't know what he's talking about, so Desmond explains, "You have never spoken three words to me, and now you want to be my hunting partner." Sawyer explains to the blissfully ignorant Scot that, in America, politics is all about bribes, and when Jack Abramoff isn't available and he has hearts and minds to change, he has to give the people what they want. Meat! A boar shows up and gets mowed down by Desmond's bullet. God Bless America!