Episode Report Card Couch Baron: A | Grade It Now! YOU GRADE IT Depression On A DVD, Part One
By Couch Baron | Season 1 | Episode 3 | Aired on 07.20.1997
We flash back to Mukada telling Alvarez he's about to be a dad, and then we're in the showers, where a shirtless and lovin' it Alvarez is checking his look in the mirror. Don't change your clothes, hair, or face, Miguel. I know that last part is in vain, but I thought I'd try. Two Hispanic guys walk up, and after a bit of joshing about Maritza, he tells them they have to kill Keane to avenge Martinez. Ryan enters, and to have him so near Alvarez is really cruel. To me, anyway. The random guy, "Carlos," says he wants to do business, and that he wants to access to the Hole to get to Keane. Ryan says he's not in with the hacks, but even if he were, things are too crazy right now to even think about it. "Nobody's gonna help nobody do nothing." Good news for Beecher, then. Ryan leaves, but Mukada immediately enters and tells Alvarez that his girlfriend just went into labor. Alvarez rushes out. Church music plays as Alvarez, in handcuffs, is led in to the hospital. We see Maritza in labor while Alvarez, a plastic gown over his orange prison uniform, holds her hand. Then the baby's there, and Maritza holds him and laughs as Miguel looks on in wonder. Aw. Knowing how this is going to end is already making tears well up in my eyes.
Alvarez shows a picture of his son to a hack and McManus. Alvarez says he'd die for his little boy. McManus says he has a message, and he has to call Maritza right away. My throat's tightening. Cut to Alvarez in confessional with Mukada. Alvarez tells him that he's been bragging to people about how beautiful his baby is, and having gotten a look at the comely Maritza, I have reason to think he's not exaggerating. Mukada smiles, but Alvarez goes on that he thinks he went a little overboard, because Maritza called and told him the baby has a bad liver, and they think he's going to die. Remember what I said before about the difficulty of Mukada's job? Well, this is Exhibit Suck, right here. Alvarez finishes that maybe God is punishing him for his bragging. Mukada tries to demur, but Alvarez says he's always been a braggart: he was the best looking in his 'hood, the best athlete, even had the best car. I didn't get that last bit from the flashback, but as usual, I wasn't noticing much else with El Scorcho in the frame. Alvarez asks Mukada to talk to God on his behalf, saying that if He saves Alvarez's baby, he'll stop being such a big-mouth. Mukada says he will, but that Alvarez should pray himself as well. Alvarez tells him that the doctor told Maritza that the baby's condition is a result of the drugs they did before she was pregnant, and the implication is that after they found out she was, he convinced Maritza to keep using even though she didn't want to, and could this scene be any more depressing? Mukada starts to recite some penance for Alvarez to repeat, but Alvarez says that's not enough. "God wants a piece of my fuckin' ass!" I absolutely, positively cannot make a joke here. Mukada looks desolate. I'm sure I do too.