Episode Report Card Couch Baron: A | Grade It Now! YOU GRADE IT Depression On A DVD, Part One
By Couch Baron | Season 1 | Episode 3 | Aired on 07.20.1997
Ryan's mopping the entrance hallway when a Koran-reading Keane comes to see him. Keane says they have to repent for their crimes, but that he's not going to rat Ryan out for his involvement in the conspiracy to murder Ortolani. Ryan asks why he's being so munificent, and Keane tells him he'd rather see him alive so he can repent for his crimes. He leaves, and Mickey contemplates his next diabolical move.
That move would be going to see Schibetta and telling him that Keane ordered the hit on Ortolani. He offers to arrange Keane's death as a sign of good faith. Schibetta thinks a moment before assenting, and Ryan leaves. D'Angelo asks why he's leaving it to Ryan, but Schibetta says that it saves them trouble and will lead to Ryan's own demise. Wise guy, that Schibetta. Not as wise as Mickey, though.
Ryan goes to see Healy, and whispers in his ear. Now I'm jealous of Healy.
Healy and a couple hacks pull Keane away from the Muslims' table. Keane and Said ask what's going on, but they won't tell him. They toss him into the basketball area, where two Latin toughs are waiting for him. He tries to tell them he doesn't want any sort of fight, but they advance on him as Healy and the Richard Gere look-alike hack videotape the confrontation. Keane has no problem kicking both their asses, but eventually gets into a position where he's forced to break one of their necks. Looking up at the hacks, he screams in agony and frustration. This plotline is really tough to watch from here on in.
Tensions are high in the main area. Glynn calls a lockdown, and lets the SORT team in. The Pernicious Peewee arrives, and he and Glynn are all nicey-nicey in front of the press before heading into Glynn's office, where the staff is waiting. PP: "What the fuck are you people doing? Do any of you have a fucking clue as to how to run this prison?" The tiny, tiny leopard shows his spots. I just realized that until now, the "fuck" count has been a small fraction of what it was in the previous two episodes, though, so at least Devlin might do something positive here. Glynn tries to explain about the brewing race war, but Devlin isn't very interested, and lights a cigarette. He's not just a dick! He banned smoking, too! He's a hypocrite! He probably even has sex with his wife! Although I hope not, for her sake. McManus tells him that he's created a lot of the tensions with the bans to which I just alluded. A predictable ideological argument ensues. Devlin asks, "McManus, when you look at me, what do you see?" McManus: "A man." Okay, Timbo, you had your one chance to win me over, and that's the best you could come up with? God, how I hate you. Devlin speechifies about the hierarchy on Mount Olympus, and the look on Glynn's face is one I want to photograph for the times I'm having trouble coming up with something sardonic to say. Leo Glynn -- his face inspires snark. So does McManus's, but in a completely different way. Anyway, Devlin's glaringly predictable conclusion is that he's Zeus. I find it hard to believe that the king of the gods could have been effectively neutralized by an average-sized man sitting on him, but people were a lot smaller back then, I guess. Anyway, Glynn dismisses McManus. Leo, I was saving this bottle of Cristal for my birthday, but I'd rather you have it. He asks PP what he wants, and PP lays it out: The murders have to stop, Keane is to go to trial and die under the reinstated death penalty, and the lockdown is to end. Glynn takes exception to the last demand, but PP says that the public gets nervous when they hear the prison's in lockdown, like, that sounds like a great reason. Glynn asks what a riot would do to his political career, but PP tells him not to worry. "I'm the one with the thunderbolts, remember?" Yeah, but if they don't have any lightning, they're just a lot of hot air. How fitting.