Episode Report Card Keckler: A+ | Grade It Now! YOU GRADE IT Day 5
By Keckler | Season 3 | Episode 5 | Aired on 07.01.2007
Back in the kitchen, the Blue Team rocks it, so we're just going to leave them alone for the duration. However, the Red Team seriously loses it and it's entirely Melissa's freaking fault. She starts off by calmly instructing, "If anyone has a question, just ask me because that's what Chef has been doing." Julia's deadpan reaction makes me love her even more, "Oh, yeah -- that's been helping us." Julia asks Bonnie a question about cooking the duck, and even though Bonnie totally answers her correctly, Melissa SHOVES her aside and tells Julia, "Ask me if you have any questions." Bonnie has stomped off but Julia asks, "What is your problem, Melissa?" "You're supposed to ask me, not Bonnie," Melissa informs her. Yep. This is ONLY the beginning. So, later on, Julia had taken the duck out of the oven to keep it from burning. What does Melissa do? She puts it back IN the oven and blathers, "All the food has to be hot okay? I'm assuming that you all had a little bit of knowledge of how to cook, otherwise you shouldn't be here." In the back, Rock is whispering, "Argue! Argue! Hell's Bitches! Hell's Bitches! Yes!" He rocks my television world. Okay, now Melissa has discovered that the duck is overdone and tells Julia that. "I know, you made it overdone," Julia tells her. "I didn't make it overdone -- your job, your station," Melissa has the gall to tell her. Julia tells her not to even try it.
Both teams plate up their final results, and the Red Team has to tell Chef Ramsay about not using their time wisely and arguing and all that kind of good shit. Melissa, again camera-ready with her freaking unhygienic hair once again cascading around her shoulders, complains, "I can't do everything at once." Calling her "madam," Ramsay tells her he didn't put her in charge, so she needs to shut up. Then, Ramsay throws them a "curve." The bride and groom -- Carlota and Cyrus --will be tasting the food and deciding the winners. The happy couple comes out and while the teams stand there silently, Ramsay turns, bares his teeth angrily and gives the contestants this absolutely filthy look like, "just you wait until I get my hands on you!" and starts clapping, gesturing fiercely at them to follow suit. It was one of the best expressions I've seen on television in a long, long time. As the bride and groom prepare to sample their food, Melissa raises her hand and says she doesn't think they should serve their food. Ramsay shuts her up and beckons the teams to present their appetizers.