Episode Report Card Keckler: B- | Grade It Now! YOU GRADE IT Melded Cheese on Melda Toast
By Keckler | Season 2 | Episode 14 | Aired on 02.04.2003
Phlox doesn't think they have a game that answers to that description, and before May-Rupture can get much farther with his tale of bear-baiting, Trip walks in and requests an audience with the good doctor. Since he doesn't want to discuss it in front of the E-N-S-I-G-N, May-Scab leaves. Trip stumbles a bit about whether his coming to Phlox was the right thing to do before he gets out, "Pheezil? I mean, 'Mrs. Phlox'...is a lovely woman. And she's very smart. She knows more about quantum optics than anyone I've ever met." Phlox agrees that his help-meet is remarkable. Trip seizes on that word and blathers, "'Remarkable'...yeeeah, she shore is." Trip stops here, and Phlox wonders if there's something else he wanted to say. Judging by the knowing look on Phlox's face, he knows exactly what Trip is trying to get at. Trip explains that he's been a perfect gentleman around Pheezil and that nothing's happened. "She's trying to...uh, she's um, she's...making advances? If you know what I meen?" Trip finally gets out, watching Phlox's face for signs of rage. "Sexual advances?" Phlox asks, intrigued. DING! Hooray, the Corned Beef Slash is finally done -- I think I'll leave it to cool until we're ready for more. Trip is afraid that the advances are indeed sexual. "Has she offered to give you a rose petal bath?" Phlox asks, delighted. That sounds too human to be something an alien seductress would do. Why not, "Has she offered to give you a poached eel backrub?" Trip denies that anything like that has been proffered. "Oh, any man would be a fool to ignore the romantic overtures of a healthy Denobulan woman! Ha!" Phlox crows. Trip looks like he could do with some overtures of Maalox. Phlox demands to know if Trip doesn't find Pheezil attractive. "Aw, sure. I meen, no, she's your whyfe!" Trip babbles. Phlox doesn't see the connection problem. "She's your whyfe?" Trip repeats, in this great tone of voice that implies it's a new reason. Phlox pishes and toshes that reason, telling Trip he's "too concerned with human morality." "I thought you wanted to learn about new cultures -- isn't that why you joined Starfleet?" Phlox wonders. I think Trip's done plenty of "learning" over the course of a season and a half. Trip agrees that that's why he joined, but states, "But I was brought up believing that you don' play around with another man's whyfe!" Trip doesn't think he's ever going to change his mind about that commandment, either. "As you wish," Phlox shrugs. "Your loss." Trip looks more pained than ever. Maybe it's because he hasn't told Phlox about that burning sensation when he pees.
T'Pol's Boudoir. T'Pol packs up some green face powder and a few tubes of lipstick she has no intention of giving back to Malcolm. Quantum arrives to deliver her court summons. "I have no interest in challenging their decision," T'Pol tells him. Quantum sermonizes that it's her duty to strike a blow for the unwashed oppressed masses and prove that she really doesn't condone the Vulcan hypocrisy. "You need to understand, I won't tell them how I got the disease," T'Pol quavers. Quantum agrees and says, "But you've got to understand, I'm not gonna give you up without a fight."