Episode Report Card Keckler: B- | Grade It Now! YOU GRADE IT Melded Cheese on Melda Toast
By Keckler | Season 2 | Episode 14 | Aired on 02.04.2003
You know, a lot of people were excited for this episode because they felt it was The One where Quantum finally gets to lord the Vulcans' own hypocrisy over them and revel in their being the inferior race he always thought them to be. But see, please tell me when it was that Quantum has not acted completely superior and holier-than-thou toward the Vulcans? I'll tell you: never. Since the first episode of the first season when Quantum was a snot to T'Pol -- and worse, allowed Trip free rein to be completely disrespectful and nasty toward her -- this new captain of the Enterprise has always thought he was far and away above the pointy-eared race; he didn't need the events of this episode to help him with something he was already so adept at doing. Whatever. Sars? Hi, yeah, it's Keckler. Listen, I can't recap ever again for the rest of my life. Yeah. Well, it turns out I'm suffering from one of the more dramatic forms of brain fever. I see I will have to revisit this rant when next the crew meets up with the Andorians. Quantum asks why Dr. P'sh Over can't promise to keep his mouth shut about T'Pol's condition and not run tattling to the High Command about it. Dr. P'sh Over tells Quantum it's not up to them to decide what the High Command gets to know. "You have her genetic profile -- you must realize she's not a member of this minority!" Quantum spits. "Nonetheless, there's only one way to contract Pa'nar Syndrome. Good day," Dr. P'sh Over says pleasantly, and walks out. The other Vulcan doctor stays for a moment and then leaves also. My nostrils positively quiver with excitement about what that could possibly mean! Oh, wait, my nostrils are actually quivering because I haven't taken my Claritin-D today.
In her quarters, a magenta-robed T'Pol meditates in front of a ginger-peach candle. Both the costume and the candle speak to the fact that she's been taking those Kirstie Alley Pier 1 commercials far too seriously. Hoshi beeps in to tell her that she's getting a message from the surface. T'Pol requests she transfer it immediately to her quarters.
Quantum's Quarters. T'Pol walks in. "I was just about to call you," Quantum tells her. At his request, T'Pol sits down and listens to Quantum run off at the mouth in a way that really makes me want to force gallons of Metamucil down his gullet about how unsuccessful he was with the Vulcan MDs and how he thinks they aren't going to keep the news of her health to themselves. T'Pol barely manages to whisper that she just got a message from Dr. Yuris asking to meet with her on the surface. She believes he wants to help. "Help? That's the last thing these doctors want to do," Quantum snorts. "He asked me to come alone," T'Pol tells him.