Episode Report Card Wing Chun: D | 1 USERS: B+ YOU GRADE IT Stolen Kisses
By Wing Chun | Season 3 | Episode 19 | Aired on 04.25.2000
So anyway, did I mention we bought a house? At this point, when the episode was airing in Eastern Standard Time, our agent was walking down our street with our signed-back offer.
Okay, didn't anyone at Tommy Hilfiger's ad agency listen to the lyrics of "American Woman" before they put it in an ad that appears to be celebrating American Women? It's a song by a Canadian band! It's not really complimentary to American Women! It's quite anti-American, in fact. "I don't need your war machine"? Hello? That's why it really annoyed me when Lenny Kravitz covered it, like, hi, YOU'RE an American Woman, according to the terms of the song. Except for the "Woman" part, but still.
Joey is gazing at a painting of Aunt Gwen's house that looks for all the world like it was made using a paint-by-numbers kit. There's even a big sun at the top that looks like an upside-down fried egg. Anyway, Joey dooms her own budding art career by saying that she likes that one best, and Aunt Gwen feeds her some malarkey about having painted it when she was married and in an art class where she was instructed to close her eyes and paint the future, and that "the rest would take care of itself." Joey does a double-take and marvels, "You painted this before you lived here?" Yes, dear. And Olestra is good for you, and JFK was shot by a single gunman, and this show will survive past next season. Not, not, not, not.
Joey asks Aunt Gwen whether she has any regrets about the way in which she and Richard "came together." Aunt Gwen hunkers down and announces that she got married too young, and "sold out in a big way" by staying in a relationship that was safe and comfortable until she met the man who made her feel alive for the first time. Lord. She then leads Joey over to another wall and points out a painting that is so hideously appalling that it hurts me to describe it, but I will. It's another paint-by-numbers-looking abomination depicting the heads and shoulders of an (I'd guess) eleven-year-old boy and girl -- with halos -- framed in a near heart shape, surrounded by grass at the bottom and tree branches at the top. It's horrendous. I hope the prop person responsible for commissioning this blight on the good name of art did the honourable thing by taking a chainsaw to it, dousing the pieces with kerosene and setting it aflame, then extinguishing the fire by urinating on it. It's. That. BAD. Pacey comes up beside Joey as she's gazing at it and says, "Hey." She says "hey" back and, after an awkward moment, heads back over to the kitchen area. Pacey stares at the painting, no doubt thinking, "I could shit a better piece of art than that." And if he isn't, he should be, because he could, and probably has.